My hubby often used the word “crude.” I had difficulty grasping the exact meaning of it. Of course, when I look into my Korean-English dictionary, its literary meaning is clearly explained, of being rough, unrefined. But how he uses it in what context? It took me sometime to actually understand it. There is another word that I had battled with; it is “refinement.” It means to improve, fine-tune or polish up. Our teachers often used this word during my graduate study of Indian Philosophy. My English comprehension was not up to the standard yet in those early days. So I was blur whenever I heard it that didn’t quite ring the bell in my awareness.
In the Patanjali Yoga Sutra, the foremost important Yoga text written by the Sage Pantanjali in the ancient India about 2 500 years ago, it is stated that refinement is one of the most important, practical tools of Yogic path to bring about the fruits of Enlightenment. “Sutra” means “thread.” Like thread, once we start pulling one end of its bundle, the rest will automatically come along; describing the consequential process that unfold naturally in the path of yoga. The Sutra is one of the most important scared treatises for yoga practitioners to study as it reveals how our untrained, crude body, mind and being, have to go through the process of thorough cleansing taming, inside out-outside in, for refinement if we were to reap the fruits of enlightenment and ultimate happiness.
Enlightenment and ultimate happiness… they are really big words, causally used among New Age circles but remain as illusive as an oasis in the desert to the most people. Many assume that spiritual life means living like ascetics, away from the hustle-bustles of worldly affairs to meditate for hours, days, months in a mountain cave to realize God. We all are ordinary people, living ordinary life; go to work, take care of bills and family, worry about what to eat or cook, with numerous concerns of our health and future. If we are practicing yoga and meditation, it is more for releasing stress and shed some extra pounds. We don’t really relate our everyday living with the grand spiritual propaganda.
Years back, when I got into reading Indian mysticism like Rajneesh, Krishnamurthy and others, there were plenty of stories about some tough sadhus (spiritual renunciates) doing severe penances, Tapas; like standing in one leg with one arm raised forever until they can see God, piercing tongues and cheeks or walking on fire to prove their spiritual resolution, or fasting for months until only skeletons are left in the body to reach enlightenment in this very life. I said, gee…it’s not for me. No way I could do that, thereby no chance for me to even dream about meeting God or getting enlighten in this life time. But Yoga and meditation helped me to relieve my mental stress and the chronicle headaches I was suffering then, by being a financial controller in a company. So my motivation of taking this yogic path was purely to find the cures for my health problem, nothing to do with enlightenment.
However it led me one another in the way I had never imagined or planned. It was not until much later that I realized enlightenment is not the final acquisition but is the process of expanding our experiences and awareness while learning to live this very life as real as it can be. The very things we do everyday; waking up, going to toilet, cleaning, working, eating, even getting sick…they are all important chances to cultivate our inborn spirituality if done mindfully. When we plant a seed, whether it is visible or not in our naked eyes, given some time and regular watering, it definitely grows into a tree with branches, leaves and fruits. I planted a seed in me without thinking much about what it would bring. There were winds, rains, and sometimes storms threatening to uproot, but I persisted. There were also joys, happiness and achievements by seeing the seed growing, much more than what I had bargained for initially. From the quiet and timid country girl, I somehow managed to become this middle aged woman with much laughter and reasons to celebrate life, and whose husband and kid can no longer make her angry easily. Most of all, I have become much more patient and peaceful that I am no longer a liability but a source of comfort and strength to the people I love.
Now I realize these two, crude and refinement, are the most beautiful and best summarizing words of what our human life is about. Because we constantly transform from somewhat crude, immature beings like cocoon into something more refine, gorgeous human beings like butterfly; given some time, awareness, efforts, patience and faith.
Now I realize that living spiritual life means not trying to become some superhuman with clairvoyant abilities but to become the best human being we can be as wife, husband, mother, father, friends, children to our parents, employee and employer, and citizens to the country. The best place to cultivate our spiritual growth is not somewhere hidden in the forest but this very ordinary life we have; living our feet immersed in the pools of mud, the world, to serve our family and society while not forgetting to cultivate virtues like friendship, compassion and happiness. Real spiritual experiences are not about acquiring supernormal powers like walking through fire, water, wall or levitating; but are about how much we can expand our heart to embrace all humanity without prejudice, judgment and alienation. Wherever we are, whatever we are, young and old, rich and poor, famous or ordinary…the life we have right now, more or less, is our best chance to cultivate full enlightenment. The challenge is maintaining the focus despite numerous distractions that would come along the way before we can see actual blossoming of the lotus flower from our heart.
It is heart-aching to me every time; to see many giving up too easily at the first sight of one or two initial road blocks; illness, laziness, carelessness, doubt, sleep, lack of the ability to experience Samadhi (spiritual joy) and the ability to maintain Samadhi… they are the obstacles listed in the Sutra that which is universal for everyone. They are our inert crudeness that has to be dropped away, to be overcome with consistent efforts and refinement. If we keep running away, avoid looking at it directly beyond those ugly parts, then we will never know who we really are, how much more we can do to grow, to be better than right now. A sculptor saw a beautiful Buddha statue hidden inside a huge mountain rock. All he did was sculpting away some rough parts that was surrounded the statue. He rescued him from oblivion to life; to last generations so that others could pay homage to its magnificent presence.
So what are we to do? We exercise despite not feeling like it or tired if we want to stay healthy and fit. We meditate if we want to have clearer mind, be calmer and happier despite feeling too busy to sit down quietly. We continue practice to finish full exhalation despite the temptation to breathe in and out as fast as we can. We eat, talk, walk and work mindfully despite our tendency to space out… Then in no time, we could sculpt out the best statue out of us that which ourselves can be proud and contented with, for our grand, great-grand children could respect and emulate to become. For me, that is the most spiritual way of living…
