The once a-celibate-monk-turned-to-a-love-guru John Grey shot to his fame when his book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” became the best seller of all time in the late ‘80s. First of its kind, it highlighted the fundamental differences between men and women in their genetic make-ups, especially in sexual orientation. Mars is a very hot planet, with lots of fire, energy, aggression, dynamism, and control issues. Venus is a sweet and loving planet that nourishes, nurtures, with affections and tenderness. When two very different people, originated from two different planets, decide to live together under the same roof, there bound to be lots of conflicts and frictions, for better or worse. By showing how to understand or reconcile the differences rather than try to confront or change each other, John saved many estranged relationships and marital breakups which were on steep rise since the Gloria Steinem’s feminism.
The book was also the very first book my husband gave me as a present when we first started dating years back. Unlike the new breed of young Koreans you see it today, cool and fantastic with their jaw dropping hip-hop skills, I belong to the previous uptight generation who doesn’t know how to relax or laugh easily with somewhat serious cultural pretention in our shoulders. My hubby on the other hand, who is fully western educated with his extra psychology diploma besides his major, initially had trouble communicating with me whenever we had “issues” to deal with. I usually shut up and opted to process within me whenever there was problem. He preferred to talk about “it” rather than “zip the mouth and bottle it up” like how I used to be. He didn’t know how to handle my silence. So he bought me the book which was an eye-opener to me. It never dawned on me how men and women think differently, perceive and act in almost opposite way from each other. I thought he should naturally know what I want before I say it. But he didn’t have a clue about what I want because I didn’t say it!
So it was very smart of him to buy me the book because I started to develop more understanding and patience about his different ways of functioning despite my own expectations that were otherwise. We seldom hit the walls up ever since because we both are aware of our generically different modes and do our best not to impose one’s way to another. That keeps our peace in the household most of time except occasional minor bickering every now and then.
Later when I learned of the language of stars, astrology, I realized that the positions of the Mars and Venus in our birth charts have great deals on our likes and dislikes, not only in love relationship but also in our overall inclination, aspiration, tendency, etc. Besides the XX and XY things, we have these energy attunements of fire, earth, air and water depending on how and where his or her Mars or Venus is located out of the twelve zodiac signs. For example, not all women like roses or remember anniversaries and not all men like sports or crazy about cars. Not all women are whimsical while not all men are control freaks. Among men and women, there are also individual differences. Thereby, if you are a man trying to ask out a woman of your interest, you can’t just rely on the general information. You have to know what she likes specifically be it rose or book. If you are a girl and waiting for a prince charming to discover you as the ragged Cinderella in distress, you might just have to wait till your hair turns grey. Because they say all good men are married. (The truth is all not-so-good men become all good after they married.) Thereby you have to know how to see your man pass the veils of fancy into the long future that are lying ahead with realistic modes. Then how to do?
One of the best way as I found out is by looking at the blueprints for the locations of the Mars and Venus of respective partner’s and yours’. They have to match and compatible if you want to make your relationships one of those made in heaven. There is no good god fairy mother in this modern world. Each man and woman has to go all the way out to find their matches according to their own standards and do their best to live through the fundamental differences even after married. Who said they lived happily ever after? Only in fairy tale! Either be it courting or managing marriage, men and women relationships are never easy or have straight forward answers. You just have to find out what works for your own mate and the blueprints just might hold the keys if you are interested in opening it.
People are very different inside and you can’t expect the same reactions from person to person. For example, after reading this story, if you buy your partner John Grey’s book, it might not work as well as it has been in my case. My Venus is in Aquarius; I am inclined towards ideas and concepts. I like learning over jewelry or fancy dining. That’s why, my hubby’s strategy to buy me books works for me especially when he needs to convince me something of his agenda. I am easy to get inspired by noble ideas in the books and he just needs to find a well-written book on that particular topic! Likewise, to know what you like, what your partner likes, you take a look at his/her Mars and Venus then it becomes easy. If your woman has her Venus in Taurus; then you better be prepared with house, cars and jewelry before you propose to her. If you are a girl and you like a man who has Venus in Taurus, make sure you know how to cook gourmet dishes. If her Venus is Gemini, then, you better polish your ears so that you can be a good listener when she is talking like a machine gun, etc. It is quite intriguing to discover the correlation between the stars and our characteristics or inclinations.
So like anything else, there is no straight forward answer in life’s different situation and dilemma, especially in men and women’s relationship. However if we have foreknowledge of our own and his/her astrological make ups, it helps greatly in saving our troubles of heartaches, toiling night sleeps, or yelling, screaming and banging the doors. It can save much money also from compulsive shopping sprees or night club routines in your vain efforts to please him or her. Unlike common misunderstanding of people and malpractices of many astrologers, astrology is not about fortune telling but is a guiding post to shed lights into every step of our lives, so that we don’t have to struggle in darkness to find the way. You just find a light switch then it gets immediately brighter. Astrology is about finding the light switch to illuminate our life.
Whenever I see nice singles, be men or women, I can’t help but to think of how to match-make them. As I understand, it is not easy trying to find own dates or mates these days, especially for busy city folks and professionals who virtually spend whole days and nights in the cars or offices. And worse still, finding the mate is one thing but maintaining the relationship is another matter entirely. All kinds of mishaps and common heartbreaks are what I can only glimpse from TV, internet or the weekend columns like Dear Thelma in the newspaper Star. That is why, more and more people are opting for singlehood, I guess. Given the choice, however, I would like everybody to find their soul mates and live happily ever after. Life is certainly better in pairs than in singles. My teacher once said that marriage is like a union of two enemies—either you make it a heaven by learning how to reconcile with enemies or suffer a living hell by constantly quarreling over differences. The Mars and Venus, go by the pairs. They need to learn how to embrace and reconcile rather than bickering at each other continuously if we were to make a heaven out of it.
I feel people take the relationships too lightly these days. The divorce rate is hitting almost over 50 percent in the western continents while our Asian countries or Malaysia picking up the global trend rapidly. We need more holistic approach in cultivating healthy relationships. Before Mars and Venus, we are the same human beings who just want love and acceptance of our own uniqueness. Men usually like to draw complete and definite picture. Details and objectivity are important. We women prefer abstract picture with tinge of emotion and imagination with some space to alter it later in case we change our mind! Besides that, some men are soft while some women are tough depending on their elements that are mapped on the blueprints. I recently happened to consult few of my yoga students on their love life that I thought of giving you some insights about the Mars and Venus. Although I have no intention to become a love guru like John Grey or Mike Myers but I don’t mind bringing astrological illumination in case you need to find a beacon of love life or domestic peace. You know where to find me. Cheers!
