Have you ever asked such questions, “Are you happy? What will make your life happier?” Strangely not many seemed to have, because when I do that, many get taken aback as though they never had thought about it seriously before. Many do not have a clue about whether they are happy or not, not to mention in knowing what will make them happier. Isn’t that absurd because everybody wants to be happy while avoiding pains and suffering at all cost? And yet, they do not know how to achieve that. They will mumble something of better family life, rich, health…but I can tell they are just scratching the surface only. No one really ever thought about it until they are asked.
Here is another one: what is happiness or suffering to you? Do you believe life is suffering or bliss? For me, they are not different. It is just how you look at it, either be happiness or suffering.
We are familiar with the saying “life is suffering” that which is from Buddhism. On the other hand, Indian yogis or mystics say “life is ecstasy” or “life is bliss”. Which one is true? Suffering or bliss? In fact, it is neither. Life itself is neutral but it’s our experiences of it that are differing. In Buddhism, whatever inside of us is called ‘variable’ whereas ‘constant’ that whichever is outside of us. What that means is that the fact, like a half cup of water, is constant but how we perceive it, whether as only half or still half, is variable that depends on how we feel or react to the given fact. Only half is reflecting lack or poverty whereas still half is reflecting spaciousness or abundance in our awareness.
What control we have of is ‘variable’ not ‘constant.’ Thus the key to lasting happiness and well-being lies within us, in ‘variable’, because we can choose how to feel in respect to certain circumstances, the ‘constant’, that which we can’t change. However people often misunderstand to be the other way around. They think if circumstances change, then they will be happy. They constantly chase after greener pasture over the rainbow. No wonder lasting happiness seems so illusionary. Searching for lasting happiness from outside instead of inside is like looking for an oasis in desert or utopia in the world we are living.
We need to turn around within, to our heart, if we were to live perpetual happiness that is unconditioned and ever present. Happiness that we experience by the material world is illusion because it is dependent upon the conditions that are outside of us. Changes are inevitable processes in life but whenever the condition changes, many perceive or react it as loss or pain, thereby, experiencing suffering. But if we know how to contain our heart to be at ease and content within, we would react it differently and can accept is as positive or growing process toward any changing circumstances. Then we have mastered the secrets of life on how to be happy forever. They lived happily ever after…after all, isn’t that the ultimate goal of human life?
Happiness is like tossing a coin; it is up to us how we flip. Tail or head, either way it is the same coin that which is our heart.
Happiness is dependent upon not where we are from outside but from inside our heart. Even if living in million-dollar mansions with finest furnishing and prize spouse, flying all over the exotic places around the world enjoying fame and status, was Pavarotti, one of the greatest Italian opera tenor, happy at the end of his day? No. He died regretting over many things especially over his young second wife who got greedy over his money while he was fighting for his life with cancer. He was deeply saddened not by his cancer but by what went around him regarding the distribution of his wealth after his death. He was known for his fiery temper and disregard for others with his arrogance. Despite his success, it seems he was not a happy person until the moment he died. I am sure he regretted also for leaving the faithful old wife for his-twenty-something assistant at that time.
We don’t have to go until Pavarotti, Tiger Woods, or Jack Nieo kinds of famous personalities to site the examples of lacking in contentment, happiness in the heart. Many ordinary people like us are also easy to complain over what we don’t have or cant’ have rather than appreciating what we have. Whenever we don’t like something or someone, we are quick to change or jump to another person. It is so easy to get overshadowed by feelings or sidetracked by desires for more that we overlook what actually create obstacles and cause miseries in our life. And yet we complain of ‘suffering’ ‘misery’ ‘unhappiness’ etc, when the cause is in our heart toward which we seldom turn. Same situation, same people, same space; it can turn to heaven or hell depending on how we decide or define it.
As the famous saying goes, whatever happens in life happens for a reason. We do not make mistakes but learn different ways each time we fall, to enrich life experiences, to be better person, to live better life. Why not reclaim our own the heart; be free from suffering, be free from fear and blame; then, you realize the life you have here and now is just perfect as it is. Living happily ever after is not only possible in a fairy tale but is our birth right. You just have to know how to turn to your heart whenever troubled or overly excited. Put your hands on your chest, close your eyes and breathe deeply into and out of it. Smell the breeze gently stroking your body, feel the vast spaciousness around you; open your ears to listen birds chirping and the sound of silence…see your thoughts, feelings fleeting by in front of you but you don’t have to go out each time it comes; just notice and let it go by gently coming back to your heart, to your breathing…then right there, bountiful happiness and bliss just for you to bathe in it. Life is beautiful when you know how to stop and to enjoy the moments like this…is there any better way to everlasting happiness?
