My sister-in-law is going through a very ugly divorce that has been dragging on for more than 5 years. The man, once so madly in love with her for almost two decades, is now burning his heart with intense, fiery hatred and refusing any endorsement even for their two children. She and her two daughters are in deep agony. He used to park himself day and night at the outside of door for her and children. Now he became stone deaf for any logic and reason, hiding deep inside the skirt of his equally insane mistress. It took few years just to meet him once in the family court. She wonders how in the world she met such a man to marry and could have lived as a family for so many years. I am an outsider. Thus I have no way of knowing who is right or wrong. Each in its own, we all have layers, layers of inside stories that others can’t fathom. So I choose to remain as neutral as I can while being sympathetic and supportive at the same time. But still, the elbow bends inside; I can’t help to side them than the man…
The other day, I came across a picture in their courting days, so loving and sweet with each other. I felt profound sadness in my heart to ponder over what made them change so much that, now they are worse enemies than total strangers. They say love is blind but when the same heart turns its face, it also becomes blind with hatred, capable of even killing someone without weapons. I worry whether the father has not killed any sound image of man whatsoever in their young girls’ hearts for their future. Hope, they grow up to know that there are many, many layers in the heart, not just one, so that they could chose wisely when it’s time to make their own.
According to a well-known contemporary Zen master, we have two hearts; one is the physical heart curved towards the left and the other is the spiritual heart curved towards the right side of body. The physical heart is in charge of all the biological functions that are necessarily for maintaining life. The spiritual heart is in charge of all the rest energy circuits that are necessary for living life and there are four layers of it.
The first one is the senses and their pleasures, the grossest circuit that runs around in the bodily layer. The second one is that of the mind circuit that has its own pleasures which are a little finer. They are a little deeper, a little close r to the innermost being. Ideas, concepts, logic, science, philosophy…they belong here. The third one is still finer, deeper: it’s the layer of the heart—love, music, poetry, dance. The enjoyment and appreciation of harmony, color, poetry, and celebration of life…belong to here. The fourth is, the world of our being, the inner most core, which can enter through heightened awareness only. It is very deep, very subtle, the most mystic layers of our being that goes beyond the senses, the mind and the heart: it the world of the SPIRIT. It exists in the world of utter silence, of absolute emptiness, in the Tao. God resides in here, our spiritual home.
The closer we circuit around the center, the more rarified and dignified the qualities of our life will be, because that is where we can meet with the essences of our souls to bring lights into all the relationships around us. When the two souls meet and commune closer from the center, then, only then, the relationship can be one of those made in heaven. Otherwise blindness plus blindness, conflicts and miseries are what to follow.
The grosser we skip around from the surface, the more miserable, ugly and chaotic the life is. The man who lives in sensuality, lust, obsessed with food and body…is more like an animal. He is born as a human but utterly blind to the potential, unconscious of the whole range of his being. Not much different than animal kinds of life, unworthy of the precious spirit inside him. It is in this first layer where most of the miserable human dramas are concentrated and repeated.
The next, the layer of the mind, obsessed with collecting knowledge and data, is yet another kind of gross life; those who live mostly in this level, their head is full of information, discrimination and opinions. They suffer from inferior or superior complex, arrogant, prejudiced and judgmental. Their life can’t grow beyond the narrow, neurotic and psychotic mind. They don’t have a room to hold another person in their intellect. Relationship with another person is impossible as they worship the intellect more than anything else. You can’t argue with them because they are always right! In the end, many become insane, the candidates either mental asylum, fanatic religious or cults followers. If you love someone living in this plane, then, you better prepare yourself for it, too.
The third one, the layer of the heart, is the world of sensitivity, intuition, creativity and sympathetic joy. Those who can love without borders and conditions, and experience love that are boundless and spontaneous all around: they are the true lovers, poets, artists, musicians, dancers of life. Life blossoms in abundance and sheer joy with those we circuit around this plane. Love becomes nectar to enrich life and each soul can unfold its greatness and expand it beyond measurement. Relationship becomes the sources of true inspiration to give and share what is overflowing from their hearts. Every honeymoon couple rejoices in this plane, but, too often, it becomes shortlived…
The forth one, the layer of the spirit exists in the core center of our being. It is the source of our life: the beginning and the end. It is where we came from and where we will return. It is never born and never dies: eternal and infinite. When one is aware of its soul being part of the God nature, then, one can be alone and yet, together. The life becomes extra ordinary adventure filled with lights, love, dance and laughter. And it is in this plane that, true relationship can take place because one can relate to another in soul level. Wouldn’t you want to stay connected in this level?
Life is a process, where a soul takes a body and its circumstances to learn and experience the potentials, the whole layers of body, mind and spirit through a timely journey. Ultimately, we are alone. In the journey of life, we all have to walk alone. No one else can do it for us, even God. In essence, we are never separated from God. We only have to discover the God nature within. Awareness of the spirit, What is, What has never left from us, can come only through meditation. Alone, not by others, because it is deeply hidden inside our heart, at the center of our being. When two souls are in love, enters into relationships, it is best to meet and nurture in this level. Because then, they don’t need each other for anything other than love; they only reflect each other’s love like mirror, the God nature of each person. Their relationship is not of dependence, but of interdependence, to dance alone and together in the rhythm of eternally overflowing love, joy and happiness that comes from the center of being.
Do you have right love in your life? Have you found enough love to give and receive, unconditionally, without reservations? If yes, I salute to the extraordinary journey you must have taken to your heart, that which is never easy. If no, maybe, before blame others, you just turn around to look into your heart. Yes, love is blind, definitely, but the heart has many layers. Love not others but our own soul foremost, blindly and unconditionally. Only then, you can shine forward the infinite love from within and share with others without. The spirit stands alone, and thus, there will be no expectation, no disappointments, no manipulations but only truth, sincerity and acceptance to give another. That is our original nature. We’ve just forgotten by and by, by circuiting around too much from the gross levels. It is time to learn how to dive in, time to take plunge to your soul. When you come out, then, you can see the God’s face smiling from your partner. Wouldn’t that be wonderful to live with God every day? But you have to become That first, then, the other also will become That. Close your eyes more often, regularly; put your hands on the chest and, breathing in, breathing out…then, by and by, you will be able to remember your own God nature more often. Then, all the divorce lawyers, family courts, will have to switch their job for, maybe, matchmaking…
