“That is Fullness. This is fullness. From Fullness this fullness comes about. Bringing this fullness from Fullness,
Fullness alone remains. Om Peace Peace
Peace”
“Om
puramadah purnamidam purnatpurnamudacyate Purnasya purnamadaya purnamevavasisyate Om santih santih santih”
During graduate school days, we were asked to
memorize this Sanskrit verses and recite it all the time. As you will try to repeat yourself…you also
realize it doesn’t make sense at all what that means. Yes, it was same to me as well. I didn’t understand the meaning but nonetheless
I memorized it and recited it every now and then.
That was some twenty years ago.
Though I didn’t fully understand its meaning at that
time, somehow I liked its intonations and rhythms to stay deep in my awareness
till now. Out of blue, it just pops out
at the tip of my tongue or on the surface of immediate thoughts on many
occasions.
That is to say, I now understand better, though not
fully, its meanings and its implicit beauty…
I used to have this compulsive habit, that is, to organize
things around me. I can’t stand
messiness. I need to see things put into
proper places and stay that way nice and neatly.
Not only with things but with my thoughts and others’
thoughts. I can’t stand if my thoughts
are not organized, not in accord with my actions; the more so with others. I will easily flip if I see somebody is so
messy in their thoughts, not keeping their words to say one thing and do another.
I would go very restless if I can’t expect certain outcomes,
the path is not clear, or when it turns out completely different than what I
had prepared or predicted…(this tendency is from my father, who was razor sharp
punctual in his every words and actions for all his life.)
But then, living in Malaysia for more than 15 years…changed
all that. You deal with so imperfect
chaos in every aspects of life. Traffic
horrors is one thing, fluctuating weathers, my computer and internet modems
that got burn by thunders so few times, endless episodes with immigrations,
government offices, in-laws, the neighbor who keep ten over cats, another
neighbor who covers their grass with green net to prevent the cats peeing over
it, and another who let the house alarm ring for half an hour every afternoon
just to check whether its working…
You see…isn’t it so imperfect world to live in???
But, what to do…that’s the way it is…life in Malaysia and how the people are…because
they are so imperfect, it’s so beautiful and fun place to live at the same
time. Thus as time goes on, I find
myself enjoying life more and more in this not-so perfect, and yet, so
perfectly humane country. (This is fullness, that is Fullness….)
I used to complain easily at seeing others not quite
perfect, at the injustice of the world around me, and I would rile against
tyranny. But that habit of complaining
and riling for every little, little things, made me very sad and weak. It robbed me of energy to focus on more positive
values. In the end, I saw that the key
to everything is to surrender. I can fix
myself but not others, not much else.
We cannot go beyond our circumstances, people around
us, while criticizing its faults, for they serve us, as all restriction
does. To go beyond this plane, we first
have to be able to accept it as is, and see beauty within it, no matter
what. We have to see it as perfect in
its imperfection. Then we can develop
the spiritual maturity to leave things as they are, understanding that there is
a greater knowing here that seeks balance, and it knows what it is doing.
Once we accept life without struggling against it,
we can see that everything serves us in one way or another. A lousy mean helps us appreciate and remember
a good meal. A defeat strengthens us for
the next victory. If we try not to
quantify and judge things and accept them as part of our overall experience, then
only we can become mature. All of a
sudden that power that should have been ours from the beginning is returned to
us as a calm individuality—a creative stillness that allows us to be.
Acceptance unshackles us from the restraints that we have created for
ourselves, and it allows us to explore inside our own individuality.
Thus I just want to say a big thank you to you all,
how perfect friends you all are for all these years…and I wish you all a very Happy
New Year and be the Perfect Being as you
were in the year 2013 too!
A gift to you all, a Perfect Mandala drawn by our
trainee instructor Yuen….
With love and friendship,
Beth.
