Announcement:

Beth’s Yoga: the Healing Sounds Meditation Course
Free Introduction: 5-6pm, 16th October, 2010
Dear Friends,

Greetings to you and your loved ones! Another year end is fast approaching in couple of months. I hope you have enjoyed much happiness, good health, peace of mind and harmonious living to look forward yet another very fulfilling year. If not, maybe, you might consider doing something very different, so that you could greet New Year with fresh resolution, enthusiasm and passion.

Learn How to Meditate in wherever you are, whatever you are doing it—seating, lying down, walking, or even driving!

Despite what impression, misunderstandings, trial experiences you might have had in the past, actually, Meditation is as easy and natural as eating, sleeping or brushing teeth but the effects and benefits are beyond what this short mail can describe. That is, if you know it how to do in the right way.

It is our inborn birthrights to be happy and enjoy maximum physical/mental health, while firmly rooted in our spiritual identity at the same time. According to the modern science and time-tested testimonials by countless self-actualized souls, regular Meditation delivers the following benefits and effects: 1) Calm the mind, release stress and learn to relax. 2) Improve health and increase longevity. 3) Increase clarity of mind, focus and improve creativity. 4) Refine characters for excellence and facilitate self-actualization. 5) Enhance spiritual progress regardless of one’s belief system.

Last month, I have read a very touching interview with Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of Singapore. Contrast to his usual iron willed image, the 87-year Senior Minister was reflecting very candidly about his life in not-so-much as a highly revered and successful politician, but as a humble human being in his twilight years. He seemed deeply threaten by “what awaits” each night no matter how busy days were, especially with his bed-ridden-dear wife’s impeding death including his own limited time in life. (She passed away last week, after one month he gave the interview.)

What touched me, though, was his statement that he envied of people with faith who find strength and solace from it. Thus, he learned meditation lately and calms himself with 20 minutes of meditation at night, which helps him to soothe and certain tranquility settles over him. “The day’s pressures and worries are pushed out. Then there’s less problem sleeping” he said.

Please come to the Free Introduction on the Effects and Benefits of Meditation in 16th October 2010, Saturday, 5-6pm in Beth’s Yoga to learn more about it. Beth will share her lifelong passion of Meditation in the simplest, non-denominational term through this 45 minute Power Point presentation.

So, see you all there!
Beth Lim

The Now—the Pause between Breaths

I have long refused to read the famous best seller “the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle until March this year. The main reason was from my aversion toward any “hoo-hoo-ha-ha” of public hype as I am naturally cautious for anything if they are too noisy. He was featured big few times by Oprah Winfrey. She is a big fan of his and the once-anonymous-man owes huge debt to her for his now-world-famous celebrity status. Thus, I have been flipping his books in the bookstores every now and then, but, was never really inclined to read through it. Then, Bhante Kovida is one of his avid fans and strongly recommended me to read it. Okay…

It didn’t take me long to finish reading once I sat with it. Yes, very far out book, definitely…but I am not yet so convinced by it. Not because I couldn’t grasp or understand what he is talking about, but because of the levels of abstraction in his language for the description of the “Now.” Because, the Now is so easy to grasp it as soon as you can turn back to your breathing—breathing in, breathing, and pause. The Now is simply in the pause. The more spacious and steady the pauses become, the Now is just right there for you to start living it. It’s extremely sweet, loving and full, just like Indian mangos. If you tasted local mangos only, and think you know the taste of good Indian mangos, then, you are very wrong. So is the taste of the true Now, that lies in between our breaths. Breath by breath, they are so honest and direct path to our freedom and well-being in all levels of our being, the body, mind and spirit.

But, he and his questioners go round and round, as though chasing after its own tails, to understand the “Now.” Very much like the J. Krishnamurti. The legendary theosophy philosopher spent his entire life to explain about meditative states instead of teaching meditation until he died of 90 plus years of age. He talked forever about how beautiful is the silence of mind in reflecting nature and life, but he could never convey his exalted experiences to his world-wide followers. Because people were asking the same type of questions again and again decades after decades instead of they themselves meditate to grasp those experiences. I was told that he died as a very disappointed man… It seems to me that Mr. Tolle is also taking Mr. Krishnamurti’s footsteps…

It is just amazing to realize how much people love to talk about love rather than being lovers. Same goes with mindfulness, goodness and wisdom. Rather than living mindful, good and wise, they analyze about mindfulness, goodness and wisdom. Embracing the Power of Now? Rather than living Now, they talk about how to live Now while constantly moving back and forward to the past and future. It is truly absurd and frustrating to repeat the same talk about certain issues again and again, while it all falls onto deaf ears because not many are truly listening. As much as we are paranoid about talking than listening that can only happen in Now, we are forever going to miss the trains to our destinations.

Truth, happiness, peace and harmony…they elude us like mirage. Our inborn nature, the longing for highest truth in us, always look up for something loftier than mundane. That is why there are so many quacks that use the name of religion and spirituality to cheat and abuse people. The naives are those ignorants who believe others’ talks in the face value. We just have to know how to distinguish the truths for our own good if we were not to get dragged around by the nose in the market place of spirituality.

Whatever I have seen some-twenty years ago in my US days, now, coming to the shore of Malaysia… Lately a lot of spiritual products in the New Age era are rushing over here. Outdated over there, arriving here now, each claiming to offer salvation, love, bliss and spiritual freedom to our famished material souls. I am not saying they are wrong. It is just that I am reminding you to take all of that with a pinch of salts. Too sweet consumption, you might get diabetes. It is all matter of balancing the trinity in us—body, mind and spirit. Don’t swing to one side only. Come back to the other side as well as the pause in between. Don’t get into too much mood making. Don’t do too much thinking and talking and planning for the future. Learn to rest in Now.

The Now is the Pause in between, in our breaths. When you can live more of your breathing awareness, then, you can also understand what Mr. Tolle is talking about, what Mr. Krishnamurti is talking about. Mindfulness meditation, Loving-Kindness meditation…they all have roots in the Breaths. You can truly experience and actually live all those wonderful things they talk about when you can discover the pause in between the breaths. Until then, what sounds sweet to ears will remain just one step out of your reach. They can’t be yours.

Your life is depended on your breaths. So is the Now, so is your health, happiness, love and material/spiritual emancipations. The Now is in the Pause in between our breaths, so easy to forget, but so easy to get in touch, as soon as you can remember.

Breathe in, breathe out, and pause; breathe in, breathe out, and pause…there lies the eternal humdrum of our godly nature. One step forward, breathe in, one step forward breathe out, one step forward, pause your breath…we walk side by side with our Holy Spirit or Buddha nature. How can you be not mindful, loving, kind or blissful when you become just That. Don’t waste time and energy talking about, thinking about, discussing over it. Don’t fret over it for ages trying. Just do. Just breathe in, out and pause but, you have to put your whole awareness to it instead of running on auto-pilot mode. It is much easier than you think. Even your toddlers can do. Why not you? Now, let's do breathing together. Breathing in, breathing out and pause…search for where the breathing is happening? Tummy, chest? It doesn’t really matter as long as you continue be mindful of your breaths; your body will know what to do, your mind will calm down in no time, and your spirit will shine forward brightly… Trust me.

Do You See Rabbits in the Moon?

It is Autumn Full Moon Day today. In my back home, the day is celebrated with much grandeur; two days are official national holidays but most private sectors are off almost for a week. It is the second biggest national celebration next to Chinese New Year. Living away from my own culture while immersed in different one for many years, I don’t have much a sense of belonging in either. Thus I have lost in touch with any celebrative mood makeup regarding various seasonal markings in the calendar. However, I generally have a special fondness towards Moon that, Autumn Full Moon Day is one of those days I make sure to pause and look up the night sky.

No, I am not looking for Rabbits in the Moon but, somehow, the Moon almost always brings up certain kinds of sentimentality in my heart since small.

Astrologically, Moon is related with feelings, emotions, intuitions, perceptions, etc. Depending on the size of Moon in person’s birth charts and the conditions of waxing or waning among others, the strengths and stability of his/her EQ (emotional quotient) can easily be accessed. Thus in India, the land of soothsayers, well-conditioned moon is a must for a girl and top consideration in match making. I was told by my teacher that, the birth charts of Kamala Nehru who is the wife of Jawalal Nehru, the first Prime Minister of Independent India, and the mother of all mighty Indira Gandhi, was secretly consulted by Nehru’s father to astrologers prior their arranged marriage. Her moon promised a good progeny. That was how, the uneducated girl from a poor family was chosen to be the wife of a British educated powerful lawyer and distinguished disciple of Mahatma Gandhi. Kamala herself suffered ill health and died early, but, it seems the prediction holds it to be true after all. Three Prime Ministers are down the lineage. Her grand-daughter-in-law Sonia Gandhi is currently the most powerful political leader in India with her son Raul Gandhi is in the making of a future Prime Minister.

No, I am not interested in politics at all. It is just a story I heard from my teacher that shows the significance of the moon in life. That is why I am recalling the story to you as well. Not only in choosing our life partner, but also in accessing the people whom we associate with, it helps tremendously if you understand the conditions of their moon beside your own. Understanding the moon in more objective lights, can bring up much love, compassion and genuine humanity as well, thus much legal fees can also be saved in divorce courts.

I used to be rather a difficult person to interact because of the peculiar coldness I emit. That is because, I have a very hyper sensitive moon in my birth chart. I easily get affected by unwholesome outside influences even now. So with some coldness and distance, I was protecting myself from getting hurt. On the other hand, the difficult moon gives me the ability to slip into others’ shoes easily, to understand their certain emotional reactions from their point of views like their own. Thus, I used to suffer this pain in my emotional heart frequently because I hastily take up others’ pain into mine.

Doing more of Hatha Yoga was the saving grace. When the body was weak and not taken care of properly, the emotion also ran havoc easily. It was very difficult to live with its constant insanity. When the body became stronger and more balanced, the mind and emotion also could maintain its composure with more ease. Inborn hyper sensitivity could transmute into high perception to intuitively know right and wrong, proper and improper, too much and too little; thus rendering the ability of natural balance to pause in between. So I continue do Yoga everyday and the Sun and Moon Salutation yoga exercise series continue to be one of my favorite routines. Join me if you are not sure what to do, how to feel, can’t decide…etc. Your head and heart will become much clearer after sweating and limber body.

Happy Full Moon Day to you all! In our folks tale, the secret wishes made in the day, comes true. So don’t forget to look up to the sky and make your wishes!

A dog story

The other night coming back home from an outing, we saw our front neighbor elderly couple taking a walk with their dog and cat. Obviously the dog was happy sniffing around in a leash held by the lady master. But the cat wasn’t. He was tied in a long chain leash held by the master and sat at the grass refusing to move. “Ayoh…!!! Dog goes for a walk with masters but cat does their own…!” Edwin, the animal lover, exclaimed from the rear seat. Of course, they couldn’t hear it. The poor cat, looking gauntly, gave an indifferent look towards us as our car passed by them. It seems they didn’t want to lose their recently picked-up stray cat. So they keep him tied down at the corner of their gate. He doesn’t look pleased, though, to get tied, especially when he sees our dog Jang-Gun, the Doberman, left freely roaming inside our compound directly opposite to their house.

“Mommy, do you know what Winston Churchill said about the difference between cats and dog?" "No, I don't know." He said, “Dogs look Up on you, cats look Down, and…pigs look Equal with you!!”

I laughed. I thought that was brilliant. I am not so much an animal person, but, he is. One time, when he was about two to three years old, he got fascinated with hamsters after seeing it a neighbor girl playing with it. He immediately fell in love with the little creatures, begging me to buy him one. Of course, cannot…!!! I dare not to touch anything crawly, geli, or creepy. All my body hair would stand up and also I can’t stand the smell. On the other hand, he somehow just loves anything that are living things, large and small, except cockroaches. The little Edwin begged me to keep hamster, and later, rabbit, and then, later dog… I would say no, each time, with the excuses that we are not supposed to keep any animal in the house, because we were living in apartments then. But I promised him to keep a guarding dog when we move into a landed house later, with the condition that he would know how to take care and clean after the dog. I kept my promise and he kept his. That is how we have our dog, Jang-Gun. So far, Edwin is doing a good job taking care of him, feeding, washing and playing.

Surprisingly though, I also started to like him and other dogs. Unlike his fierce look, Jang-Gun is a very loving and sweet. He knows whom to bark or not to. He will bark fiercely to sampah men, mailmen, or any suspicious men coming near his house, but never to our guests or friends, even if he sees them for the first time. How he knows? I have no idea. He also knows which plants to disturb and which plants absolutely shouldn’t. My hubby keeps hundreds of orchid in the front and back compounds. Jang-Gun will never, never touch them or go near them. But he will nibble those weeds growing at the different corner of the house. Oh…one more thing, he will also not make any noise if I am in the living hall doing my things or resting, because, he knows I don’t like noisy. He just knows how to behave himself differently to all of us. He is ever hyperactive and playful with Edwin; playful with or afraid of my hubby depending on hubby’s mood; and ever cautious but gently loving with me. See, how can I not like him when I see him having a so clear intelligence and discretion, even if, he is just an animal?

One thing, he doesn’t like water or getting wet. Whenever it rains, he will find the last dry corner to stand, just to avoid getting wet. He lies his body flat on his back whenever Edwin trying to bathe him. Edwin has to struggle hard to drag him to water tap. He is getting bigger, so it is getting more difficult to make him bathe. Every now and then, I watch their battles in amusement.

One day, it was raining outside and I was reading in the table. Then, I saw Jang-Gun seating outside of the porch, wet and shivering. I was wondering what this dog was up to. I went out to call him back.

“What are you doing, Jang-Gun? Why are you sitting there wet? What’s wrong?”

But he just sat there shivering and looking at me afraid. The eyes were of when he did something wrong. So I looked around to see what mischief he did. One orchid pot was fallen on the floor. Judging from the scene, I figured he was walking past the pot when it fell by the strong wind. He took it as his fault. He got scare of his master’s fury when he finds out. So he was punishing himself in the rain wet and shivering, and refused to come in when I call him. I called Edwin who was in the upstairs. As I was telling Edwin the story, Jang-Gun was even more shivering. Edwin’s heart broke to see his dire distressed look. He refused to come in under the porch, so Edwin has to drag him again and tie him in his leash to stop him from keep running out again in the rain. In a while, my hubby came back home. We related the incident to him while Jang-Gun again in his almost panic state with his ears and tail tucked in. It was only when, my hubby tapped his back and said, it’s okay, that Jang-Gun relieved his guilty punishment to himself wagging his tail happily to the master.

It was truly amazing to see how even a dog knows how to repent himself when we human are often not. There are so many people around us who refused to see or admit their own faults, even if it is so obvious. They are quick to arouse their temper in denial or self-defend, ever blaming others for anything wrong but never to themselves. It is always others that are at faults but not them. They are also quick to show their hostility or jealousy to other’s achievements or success. It is they who deserve all the best, the most comforts and success at no cost, while often ignoring or overlooking others’ sweat and toils behind what others might have spent for days and nights. They are so selfish when it comes to guarding their own interests but, seldom considerate or merciful when it is about others’.

I often wondered why, whenever I come across with such injustice or unfairness in anyone or situations. I used to chew or fret over it until I disturb my peace and sleep for days. But, now, as I am older and wiser, that I no longer wonder but understand why. They are lacking in self-love and sense of security. That is why they are behaving selfishly as the way they do. They might have grown up in the environment ever challenged with scarcity, competition for love or lack of affections. They might have grown up in over-pampered environments that, everything was revolving around themselves, never knowing how to share or be kind with others. They might have grown up in very threatening situations that, everybody else was out to get theirs or hurt them, but might never have received warm hugging and hot soup to relieve their cold stomach…

Whatever the reasons might be…this much is sure. Those who can’t love, share or repent over their own faults, they are the most unfortunate people in the world no matter how much they are rich or successful. After all, life is surprisingly simple to live and be happy when you have a roof over your head, clothes to wear, and enough food to eat. It is only when the heart is not content or in the right conditions, ah…that’s when the life starts to get complicated, with much wants or don’t-wants, hatreds or blames, regrets and worries…I suppose that is why, these days, many people are having dogs and call them they are the man’s best friends. Because their love, loyalty and dedications are totally unconditional…

We are running on auto-pilot machines

Couple of the months ago, I installed Korean-font in my computer. I haven’t written anything in Korean for many, many years. The last time, when I used Korean-key board, was with a type writer not a computer. That tells you, how long I have been off from it. Nevertheless, nervous in the beginning…but surprisingly, after few days, I could type them quite well and smoothly without much hesitation. I felt proud. My brain became fast slacked when I stopped using it, but apparently, my fingers were not. There were irreversible memories buried in my finger tips. I could recall them so easily, so fast, that now my fingers are almost flying on the keyboard.

The same goes with cycling. I learned how to cycle when I was about ten years old. We didn’t have a bicycle at home at the time. One day in school compound, our neighbors’ kids were riding bicycles. I fancied myself riding it. Kindly, they let me do and also helped me to learn how to cycle as well. I tumbled few times because my short legs and small feet were struggling hard to reach the pedals of the adults’ size bicycle. However I preserved…and then, by the late afternoon, I could cycle around the compound with no problem. On and off, I cycled with borrowed bicycles after that, but not very often, till twenty years later during my university days in the US. The campus was big and I needed a transport to move around. So I bought one, a bicycle. Though initially I wasn’t sure whether I could still remember it or not, but as soon as I pedaled on it, no problem. I could not only cycle around the campus but also ride out in the busy town for errands. Hah…my body and legs kept the memories for all those years while the brain forgets everything so easily whatever is not in sights.

Our body is like auto-pilot machines. Once you fine tune them for any given tasks, after a while, it runs automatically like an auto-pilot machine. Then, our ever busy-mind runs off miles away from whatever we are doing. We so often become mindless, joyless, and lifeless in what we are doing in the present moment; instead runs ever busy in between the past and future; busy to regret over the past and busy to plan the future; for all the while the body performs its given tasks on faithful auto-piloted program. We eat the same kinds of food all day long; we wear the same color and types of clothes day after day; we drive the same routes to work month after month; we repeat the same works year after year— all the while, the mind profoundly churning the same thoughts again and again. According to research, 95 % of our thoughts, emotions are repeat of yesterdays’. Is there any wonder, why we become so reluctant to any kinds of changes, challenges internally as well as externally, as the years goes by?

Well, I have been on this journey of body and mind for many years. I thought I have been on the right track. Mostly but not quite perfectly…I found that out last month when I came down with the stones in my gallbladder. As you might know me, I exercise a lot and meditate without fail, eat moderately and lead relatively balanced lifestyle. I also have my healer husband. And yet, I got sick with a liver problem, that which indicates the stress levels in my system have been on the rise. Lately, I’ve been not feeling well, almost depressed, except when I teach Yoga. I came to alive during Yoga classes only, but, other than that, I’ve been hiding in my cave of home to hibernate for the rest of day. I realized why… I forgot to take care of myself, taking for granted of my husband as it was his job when it comes to taking care of my health, while I just followed my mind’s tendency to busy itself with many projects wanting to accomplish fast and quick! (My Pitta dosha tendency…)

Nature always has its own way of teaching lessons when we behave stubborn. My hubby used to say I am a difficult patient to treat. I didn’t believe it. Well, I guess I was. So, as soon as I saw that and how I have been running on auto-pilot even with Yoga, it was like I got a wake-up call. I open my ears to him. More than anything, I listened to my body. I was being a bit too harsh last one year, waking up well before 5 am and often slept past midnight, occupied with my busy mind and lots of to-do lists. As Richard Carlson said, our in-box would never be empty until the moment we die. So, I decided just to hang out, take it easy, with extra sleep and rest, which I rarely do. Then, I could regain my love and passion for the present moment, not running too much for past or future. In turn, it slowly restored my health back too. Inspirations for daily life came back as well...

It was a good lesson I learned last two months. Now I can catch myself when it is about to go on auto-machine, the aches from the liver! Then, I would immediately slow down and watch how my mind slipped out again in its haywire habits. Thus, I have been more at peace these days, and more gratitude and love I feel too... The full moon in the sky last night was so beautiful… I guess we all need to get sick once in a while to appreciate the value of good health…Dear friends, you too, don't forget to take care!

Love is blind but the heart has many layers

My sister-in-law is going through a very ugly divorce that has been dragging on for more than 5 years. The man, once so madly in love with her for almost two decades, is now burning his heart with intense, fiery hatred and refusing any endorsement even for their two children. She and her two daughters are in deep agony. He used to park himself day and night at the outside of door for her and children. Now he became stone deaf for any logic and reason, hiding deep inside the skirt of his equally insane mistress. It took few years just to meet him once in the family court. She wonders how in the world she met such a man to marry and could have lived as a family for so many years. I am an outsider. Thus I have no way of knowing who is right or wrong. Each in its own, we all have layers, layers of inside stories that others can’t fathom. So I choose to remain as neutral as I can while being sympathetic and supportive at the same time. But still, the elbow bends inside; I can’t help to side them than the man…

The other day, I came across a picture in their courting days, so loving and sweet with each other. I felt profound sadness in my heart to ponder over what made them change so much that, now they are worse enemies than total strangers. They say love is blind but when the same heart turns its face, it also becomes blind with hatred, capable of even killing someone without weapons. I worry whether the father has not killed any sound image of man whatsoever in their young girls’ hearts for their future. Hope, they grow up to know that there are many, many layers in the heart, not just one, so that they could chose wisely when it’s time to make their own.

According to a well-known contemporary Zen master, we have two hearts; one is the physical heart curved towards the left and the other is the spiritual heart curved towards the right side of body. The physical heart is in charge of all the biological functions that are necessarily for maintaining life. The spiritual heart is in charge of all the rest energy circuits that are necessary for living life and there are four layers of it.

The first one is the senses and their pleasures, the grossest circuit that runs around in the bodily layer. The second one is that of the mind circuit that has its own pleasures which are a little finer. They are a little deeper, a little close r to the innermost being. Ideas, concepts, logic, science, philosophy…they belong here. The third one is still finer, deeper: it’s the layer of the heart—love, music, poetry, dance. The enjoyment and appreciation of harmony, color, poetry, and celebration of life…belong to here. The fourth is, the world of our being, the inner most core, which can enter through heightened awareness only. It is very deep, very subtle, the most mystic layers of our being that goes beyond the senses, the mind and the heart: it the world of the SPIRIT. It exists in the world of utter silence, of absolute emptiness, in the Tao. God resides in here, our spiritual home.

The closer we circuit around the center, the more rarified and dignified the qualities of our life will be, because that is where we can meet with the essences of our souls to bring lights into all the relationships around us. When the two souls meet and commune closer from the center, then, only then, the relationship can be one of those made in heaven. Otherwise blindness plus blindness, conflicts and miseries are what to follow.

The grosser we skip around from the surface, the more miserable, ugly and chaotic the life is. The man who lives in sensuality, lust, obsessed with food and body…is more like an animal. He is born as a human but utterly blind to the potential, unconscious of the whole range of his being. Not much different than animal kinds of life, unworthy of the precious spirit inside him. It is in this first layer where most of the miserable human dramas are concentrated and repeated.

The next, the layer of the mind, obsessed with collecting knowledge and data, is yet another kind of gross life; those who live mostly in this level, their head is full of information, discrimination and opinions. They suffer from inferior or superior complex, arrogant, prejudiced and judgmental. Their life can’t grow beyond the narrow, neurotic and psychotic mind. They don’t have a room to hold another person in their intellect. Relationship with another person is impossible as they worship the intellect more than anything else. You can’t argue with them because they are always right! In the end, many become insane, the candidates either mental asylum, fanatic religious or cults followers. If you love someone living in this plane, then, you better prepare yourself for it, too.

The third one, the layer of the heart, is the world of sensitivity, intuition, creativity and sympathetic joy. Those who can love without borders and conditions, and experience love that are boundless and spontaneous all around: they are the true lovers, poets, artists, musicians, dancers of life. Life blossoms in abundance and sheer joy with those we circuit around this plane. Love becomes nectar to enrich life and each soul can unfold its greatness and expand it beyond measurement. Relationship becomes the sources of true inspiration to give and share what is overflowing from their hearts. Every honeymoon couple rejoices in this plane, but, too often, it becomes shortlived…

The forth one, the layer of the spirit exists in the core center of our being. It is the source of our life: the beginning and the end. It is where we came from and where we will return. It is never born and never dies: eternal and infinite. When one is aware of its soul being part of the God nature, then, one can be alone and yet, together. The life becomes extra ordinary adventure filled with lights, love, dance and laughter. And it is in this plane that, true relationship can take place because one can relate to another in soul level. Wouldn’t you want to stay connected in this level?

Life is a process, where a soul takes a body and its circumstances to learn and experience the potentials, the whole layers of body, mind and spirit through a timely journey. Ultimately, we are alone. In the journey of life, we all have to walk alone. No one else can do it for us, even God. In essence, we are never separated from God. We only have to discover the God nature within. Awareness of the spirit, What is, What has never left from us, can come only through meditation. Alone, not by others, because it is deeply hidden inside our heart, at the center of our being. When two souls are in love, enters into relationships, it is best to meet and nurture in this level. Because then, they don’t need each other for anything other than love; they only reflect each other’s love like mirror, the God nature of each person. Their relationship is not of dependence, but of interdependence, to dance alone and together in the rhythm of eternally overflowing love, joy and happiness that comes from the center of being.

Do you have right love in your life? Have you found enough love to give and receive, unconditionally, without reservations? If yes, I salute to the extraordinary journey you must have taken to your heart, that which is never easy. If no, maybe, before blame others, you just turn around to look into your heart. Yes, love is blind, definitely, but the heart has many layers. Love not others but our own soul foremost, blindly and unconditionally. Only then, you can shine forward the infinite love from within and share with others without. The spirit stands alone, and thus, there will be no expectation, no disappointments, no manipulations but only truth, sincerity and acceptance to give another. That is our original nature. We’ve just forgotten by and by, by circuiting around too much from the gross levels. It is time to learn how to dive in, time to take plunge to your soul. When you come out, then, you can see the God’s face smiling from your partner. Wouldn’t that be wonderful to live with God every day? But you have to become That first, then, the other also will become That. Close your eyes more often, regularly; put your hands on the chest and, breathing in, breathing out…then, by and by, you will be able to remember your own God nature more often. Then, all the divorce lawyers, family courts, will have to switch their job for, maybe, matchmaking…

Surrendering into the Time

From some morning onwards, I started to notice few snails scattered along the jogging path. At first it was just one or two, and then, it slowly increased to more than half dozen. I had to be careful not to step on them because the shape and color of their shells were very similar with the fallen leaves’ on the grass. Whenever I reach to that particular corner during my morning walk, naturally my curiosity arises as to see how far they have advanced from the previous day. Not so significant, but surely they ARE moving, steadily and consistently, though it might not be obvious in our naked eyes. It seems that they are just the most amazingly patient creatures in the world which reminds me of the following story;

The animals met in assembly and began to complain that humans were always taking things away from them.
“They take my milk,” said the cow.
“They take my eggs,” said the hen.
“They take my flesh for bacon,” said the hog.
“They hunt me for my oil,” said the whale.
Finally the snail spoke, “I have something they would certainly take away from me if they could. Something they want more than anything else. I have TIME.”

Yes, the snails live as though they have all the time in the world, whereas we human rush through lives as if there is no tomorrow. Whenever I spot some motorists who are so impatient to overtake other cars or zooming through red traffic lights, I wonder how fast could they be able to reach their destination by driving so madly like that. Even if they arrive 5-10 minutes early, what does it make difference within the 24 long hours we have every day? We all have 24 hours a day, 7days a week, 52 weeks a year and years and decades... when we count like that, certainly we have plenty of time. Ironically when there is nothing to do, time moves so slow that occupying 24 hours per day seems death sentence like. That is why many spend hours daily on TV, Video games or internet. They REALLY have a lot of time.

And yet many people seem as though they are getting bankrupt with time, constantly rushing and chasing after time while ever falling short of time to attend what really matters in life, to do the very things needed to improve ourselves that will move us forward in life. Exercise tops the list and meditation is another, despite their proven physical, mental and spiritual effects and benefits that come by regular practices. No time to do exercise, no time to meditate, no time to cook or read one decent book for years since finish school… Maybe it is one of the commonest conspiracies of ours to pretend how busy we are, keep giving excuses for our shortcomings…so that we could avoid taking responsibilities for our own health, wellness and happiness. Many rather complain of the problems they have rather than work on solving the problems. Being busy is the most wildly used one.

It is easier to pay money to the slimming centers to lose weights than doing exercise and watching diets. It is easier to get prescriptions from doctor for anxiety and hypertension than moderating lifestyle and release stress through regular meditation. It is even easier to tapau for dinner than troubling to do marketing, cooking and dish washing while the shiny kitchen with tip-top facilities remains ever collecting dust.

Why is that? Because, when things go wrong, we have someone else to blame but ourselves. Everybody wants shortcut, things that could pamper our insatiable sensual cravings, but not discipline or moderation or patience like snails…That takes too long to highway.

One of my favorite quotes from the epic Mahabharata is “Time is God.” I did not understand well of its meaning when I first heard it. But somehow it stayed deep inside my awareness ever since. I haven’t managed to become an economist after majoring in Economics for my undergraduate. However when it comes to managing time, I used to be a master piece. Like many typical Koreans, I was very fast and efficient when it comes to action. I didn’t like wasting time. I talked fast, moved fast, think fast and always on the go with one project after another. Many of my friends still live in the same house, stay in the same job, doing the same things every day for years I’ve know them. On the other hand, I moved countries, houses and relocated my Yoga center few times already even in my 13 years of Malaysia. At first, I didn’t necessarily planned on it changing so frequently but certain circumstances always arose to push me out when I was just about to get comfortable. Every time when I move, I had to rewire my entire brain circuits. But it was alright thus far though not easy every time. One of the biggest challenges was moving into the new township, Putra Heights.

I saw a vision when I first sighted the landscapes of Putra Heights. I instantly fall in love with the place to book for house and center immediately. Yes, the vision was correct because it is developing in the way I saw in the beginning; not as fast as I would have wished but slowly, bit by bit, of course, not as slow as snail either but it is getting there. Most of all now I am at ease and peace; not because everything is going well in the way I wanted it, but because having surrendered everything into Time. It no longer really matters now what it comes out from what I am trying to do here, for myself or people or even with my lifelong love of meditation and Yoga. I continue teach them passionately but how others embrace it into their lives are beyond my reach, I realized. Whether I have adopted more of tidak apa like Malaysian or my not-so-little age and hot tropical sun slowed down my warrior Korean spirit…I am not quite sure. But there is the desire in me now, wanting to be rooted, be able to withstand winds and rains by enduring in one place long enough, rather than constantly moving, so that I can become more strong and firm. So that I could continue learn to understand and embrace different people and lives in all shapes and colors. Thus much realization, many blessings I have had ever since I moved here. One of those blessings I can count is, experiencing a semblance heart attack some time ago.

One day, as I lay down in the bed to sleep, I felt fast palpation and sharp pain in my heart. I didn’t get panic but placed my hands on it after turning flat on my back. Then I thought to myself, I see this is how people get heart attack… Strangely, I wasn’t afraid but became curious instead, in trying to figure out the reason why I was feeling the pressures in the way I did at that time… it was the sense of urgency, the sense of wasting time, the sense of trying to do more but the circumstances and Time was not aligning in the way I thought it should be. So I was deeply frustrated. When I saw that, I just let go, I decided just to surrender… Then it went away. But I have not forgotten the experience. In couple of days, I was up early morning to start walking around the jogging path in our housing area, not jogging or fast walking, but Yoga walking, taking one step at a time slowly and steadily. I could smell the morning breeze; feel the moist in the grass, befriend with the shining morning stars and the moon, sleepy stray cats and dog and frogs… I see…I realized that I have been missing so much in life, just because I was in a hurry to accomplish what I ought to be accomplishing… silly me, how could I have forgotten the truth, “Time is God.” I ain’t almighty and yet, in my hindsight, I thought I could influence Time…

Yes, we have all the time in the world, if we would give it to ourselves. What’s stopping us? It’s our own foolishness thinking we could control time and life if we rush and work hard, while neglecting to do our due responsibility to live well and happy today, and another day, and another day... The snails are beautiful teachers of life. This morning, they were already in another corner extending their territory to the one quarter of my usual walking path. ..

The Monkey Powers

There used to be a monkey corner under the Bukit Cermin hill just prior to entering the residential areas of Putra Heights. A couple years back, the hill was just a normal hill where people threw rubbish as the Indah Water service wasn’t regular then. Monkeys started to congregate in search of food and the passer-bys would stop to see or feed them. I noticed that the number of onlookers and monkeys were growing steadily, especially during weekends. It soon became a simple and popular family outing for nearby residents. Since the early 2010, they blocked the road for construction and flattened the hill and the poor monkeys have to disperse somewhere else. Now no more monkey hill but only loads of construction trucks and botak lands would welcome people into the areas. With less and less green to freely roam and scarcer foods available in natural settings, is there any wonder why some monkeys create mad menaces by vandalizing housing areas or attacking people? As monkeys are smarter than any other animals, they also dare to intimidate human, perhaps knowing well of our natural fondness for them. Somehow they seem to know our anthropological affinity with each other.

Throughout history and different cultures, monkeys maintained an intrinsic relationship with human and they continued to enjoy extra attention particularly in Indian and Chinese traditions. The monkey-god Hanuman in India is one of the most popular images in the Hindu pantheon. Believed to be an incarnation of Shiva, Hanuman is worshiped for the bestowal of physical strength, dedicated perseverance and unfolding of devotion. The Sun-Wu-Kung in China is the all powerful, magical and immortal monkey hero from the folk mythology Journey to the West, considered a great Chinese classical literature.

In this story, Sun-Wu-Kung is the monkey who was born mysteriously out of a rock in a mountain. With his inborn mischief and cleverness to outwit any challengers, he initially created much chaos and havoc in Heaven with the magical powers he acquired under a Taoist master’s tutelage. His rowdy behavior was punished by the Buddha whereby he was pinned under a mountain for 500 years. Later he was freed by the monk Xuan-zang with the condition to help him in his mission to gather Buddhist sutras from India to China, together with the three other traveling companions, namely Zhu Ba-jie (pig), Sha Wu-jing (Sandy) and a dragon prince who acted as the monk’s mount, a white horse - all partaking the journey as an atonement for their past sins. The journey was full of obstacles, loads of monsters and evils in which Sun Wu Kong’s numerous talents, incredible skills were put to great use throughout the journey. By the time he completed his journey, his life challenges and cultivation has made him into a bodhisattva. Until today, the monkey Sun-Wu-Kong is one of most beloved deities in the Chinese folk religion.

As many people might not be aware, enduring and popular cultural mythologies often hide striking parallels in the development of human life. Universal life principles are embedded in stories. Somehow life lessons in retained more deeply in our awareness through stories. Both Hanuman and Sun Wu Kong depict of our everyday busy human mind. However, when you tamed and trained it, the mind becomes a very powerful ally. When Hanuman (mind) encountered Ram (God) and devoted his life to Ram, Hanuman became strong and mightier than a mountain, swift and fast like the wind. But when the mind’s power is not properly harnessed, like the small child Hanuman, or Sun-Wu-Kong prior to meeting Buddha, it can create such a living hell. Why? It’s because the unguided mind is always restless, overzealous and caught up in its own grandeur. Restlessness makes the mind jump and skip around; overzealousness always lead life in a hurry at the expense of peace and harmony; a mind caught up in its own grandeur cannot see things and events as it is and thus prone to self-deception.

In order to harness the mind’s power to journey through our life safe and sound, we need to enforce the mind with some kind of special mechanism like Sun Wu Kong’s case. His uncontrollable temper was constantly put under check with a spellbinding head-band. When he misbehaved, the headband tightens. He also needed to learn how to work together in a team with other members, who more often acted as hindrances than aids throughout their journey. Likewise our health, partner, work and family circumstances can often present unexpected drawbacks despite our perfect plan for a perfect life. These life events should be welcomed as part of a team in our journey. Our task is not to wish for a problem-free life, but more importantly, is to wish for wisdom to untangled life’s knots, and upon untangling them, to gain greater wisdom and become a better person. For both Hanuman and SunWu-Kong, at the end of the journey, they became someone beyond their limited self.

Do you want to know more about how to calm the mind and at the same time improve your physical, mental and spiritual health in a natural and easy way? Come to join us for a Free Introduction on the Benefits and Effects of Meditation.
Do you want to have a better perspective on your health and wellness; how to achieve harmony and balance in different areas of your life? Come to join us for a Free Introduction on Wellness Living and Holistic Health.

Announcement:
1. Free Introduction on the Benefits and Effects of Meditation: 22nd May, Saturday, 10am to 11.30 am

2. Free Introduction on Wellness Living and Holistic Health: 29th May, Saturday 10am to 11.30am

3. Free Yoga Walk for Better Health and Posture. Every Sunday 6.30am to 8am, the north Badminton court in Section 7.

Time slips through the fingers

There was a very sweet and jovial elderly man I’ve met during my January retreat. His name is Osman. As a habit, I tend to draw an invisible distance around me when I am out in the company of people I don’t know well. I am especially conscious of my talk because of the non-local accent in me that always bring hoards of personal queries like where are you from, what are you doing here, how long you’ve been here… Sometimes I don’t mind, sometimes… I mind, particularly when I am in the reflective mode like attending seminars or retreats. Osman was different. He noted my different accent but didn’t ask me straight away. Instead, with his very smooth tongue that had flare of interesting storytelling style, he unguarded me with giggle and laugh before preceded further to interview me. I felt comfortable with his vibrant sense of humor and friendliness to unravel myself bare with someone I first met. We became dining table buddies for the rest of retreat. I even taught him how to do Yoga Walk for his troubled knee. He was grateful with the immediate relief he felt by just walking in the yogic way.

Throughout the 3-days retreat, he was never short of his story bag, always pulling something interesting out of it to entertain his audiences. He was a sweet, unpretentious and likable senior who didn’t carry his age in the attitude. In his early 60’s, he was a retired banker who loved eating, travelling and exploring new ideas. After the retirement, he made his lifelong love of storytelling and psychology into his second career, thus becoming a Peak Performance Coach with more than half dozen of self-help certifications indicated at the back of his name card. He was active with trainings and seminars in various educational and corporate settings. The retreat organizers also arranged with him to give a talk about storytelling in their center at the end of April and I was about to attend it with my son whom also likes to tell stories. I thought he could learn some tips from him. Then I received an email, the talk was cancelled by the sudden demise of the speaker…What do you mean sudden demise? You mean he died? Yes, that’s what they confirmed through his daughter. How come…? It was a heart attack, and well, life is indeed uncertain…that’s what they said. My, my… that was all I could say…

Whenever I come across with the news of an unexpected exit such as this, once more it makes me to reflect on the emptiness of life and death. Without needing to borrow the language of the Buddhist canon, it is the universal truth that whatever is born will die one day. So will be my life and yours. It is only a matter of time. Though we know it to be true, and yet, no one really wants to die or think about death seriously except time to time in the moments like this. Why? Because of fear…because of the fear of unknown and unfamiliar… We are familiar with life but not with death. We sense death as total annihilation from all the things, people we held so dear, and the thoughts of isolation, sever, is immensely frightening for many. The ancient Yoga master Pantanjali said the fear of death is something very, very deep in all of us that even the most learned ones dreads it. Thus, popular stories of Taoist immortals who never dies or many Indian yoga masters who lived for few hundred years continue to fascinate many alchemists, spiritual seekers in hope to find the formulas for longevity and immortality. The success or failure of our modern medicine also is so much depended upon extending life spans as long as possible if not curing death.

It seems the better society gets developed and the greater the modern technology advances, the more people focus on how not to die, how not to get sick, how not to get old by all measurements. But no matter how much power, wealth and fame we have accumulated, no matter how much endearing family and friends we are surrounded by, can we put a hold on Time that flows like river? Time that keep ticks in perpetual synchronization? No, certainly not. There is no almighty that can stop Time from moving forward. Each step, each day, we are that much closer to death. We just not don’t know when it will end for each of us.

Then what’s the point being so afraid of it with something so sure to come sooner or later? Why not, instead, we focus on living while we are still here and don’t worry ahead of what has not yet come? Because of the law of attraction, we might just invite the very things we are afraid of if we constantly put attention on what we don’t want. Why don’t we focus on how to live well, so that we could be proud and free to leave when our time arrives at the door? Time is slipping through fingers in every minute and we might end up squandering it away in futility if we keep running to catch up with Time. Don’t think about “how not to” but let’s focus on “how to” because every minute we have now is precious. While we are still around and kicking our legs, let’s make sure we do things that will help us to stay healthy and hail with a gaiety of heart. How would you spend your time today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, so that your time on earth enriched you with greater freedom and happiness instead of gripping fear or psychotic neurosis?

As for me, I would like to nurture a healthy body, sound mind and light spirit so that I can live balanced life with a perspective. For that I exercise and meditate regularly, eat nourishing and wholesome food most of time. Above all, I focus on becoming a better person spiritually as time keeps on rolling under my sleeves. I am learning and improving bit by bit in how to love and kind to all, how to be compassionate and revere for all life, and how to laugh even in the facets of adversary. By doing so, is not to score high marks in the balance sheet of lord Yama, but is for my own good to maintain sanity in this crazily fast moving society. I am also striving to be a harmonious person who can maintain equanimity in all up and down emotional fluctuations, or else it’s so easy to sabotage my sense of wellness and contentment, forgetful and careless ever persistently. The wheel of time keeps on turning while we all have limited time in this Earth. Thus I would like to use my allocated time in a wise, productive way as much as I can. I would like to contribute in elevating the qualities of my life and others’ lives so that I will have no shame, no regret when I have to leave. That is how I want to live for the rest of my remaining days. I don’t know whether Osman had the chance to properly reflect his life before he left.

I still have Osman’s name card in my hand, with his smiling face printed on it. He was so full of life and enthusiastic just two months ago. His lively voice and laughter is still vivid with me. Though I didn’t know him very well, long enough, he was a good man who seemed to be in love with life and people. Would he have had any premonition about his approaching end when he was talking to me how much he loves good curry chicken…maybe or maybe not… He seemed so much looking forward to more learning, exploring new ideas and concepts including meditation from a Buddhist monk as an Indian Muslim…I hope his soul doesn’t linger too long in confusion by his own sudden departure and rest in peace from wherever he has moved onto, not forgetting to entertain the otherworld audiences too with his interesting story bag…that might ensure a better place next to his God, because God also needs to laugh…

Being Courteous Makes One A Better Person

By Edwin Lee (14 years old)

Being courteous makes one a better person, that is definitely true. As the saying goes, “courtesy is a way of life,” one should be courteous to all that surrounds you, as with each good deed one does, he/she will find that he/she can enjoy a better life.

Being a courteous person does not mean one has to constantly do good merits in order to be courteous. Being courteous is when you can spare a bit of your time to someone, and help them; for example, if you are rich, you can help the poor, if you are poor, you can help those in need, if you are neither rich or poor, you can give support to those who need it. No matter what sort of limitation one has, he/she can always be courteous. Donating to charity does not automatically mean one is courteous, as it is the thoughts of that person that decides whether he is courteous or not. If he is donating merely to earn praises from the public, in the end, this counts simply as self-contentment. However, if he harbors the thoughts of wanting to help others, he/she can, or will be considered a courteous person.

There are many things one can do to be courteous, such as helping an old lady crossing the street, or helping someone with their grocery shopping. Being courteous can often have unexpected results on a person. An example of the event is the following story:

“There was once a selfish man that lived on the outskirts of a village. He rarely went into the village. On rare cases that he did, he only went to the market, bought what he needed, and stomped off. During one of his trips to the market, a beggar approached him and begged for some money. This selfish man, being the selfish person that he was, gave a hard kick to the beggar, and walked off. Little did he realized that this selfish act had been witnessed by the local paper boy, and upon seeing this, ran off to tell everyone in the village. The next day, the selfish man went to the market as he had not finished his shopping the day before. Upon his arrival, every single house shut their doors and windows, and every street vendor chased him away, refusing to sell him anything. This went on for quite some time. One evening, while rocking his rocking chair, he realized that, perhaps, it was his selfish attitude that caused the recent discrimination. So he set a goal for himself that, for an entire day, he would try to be kind. He went to the market the next day and got the usual treatment from the villagers. He saw the beggar whom he kicked the other day, and without a word, gave him RM 5. The beggar’s expression changed from shock to joy in an instant. The selfish man suddenly experienced an unusual but comforting feeling deep in his heart. He liked this feeling, and throughout the whole day, did every single courteous act there was to be. The unusual feeling the selfish man experienced grew into a feel that he cherished like never before. And day by day, the selfish man’s personality changed completely. He no longer was the selfish man everyone knew. He became a courteous man and everyone liked him.”

As one can easily see from the story, a simple act of courtesy changed this man’s attitude completely. So courtesy is really a way of life and in the end, through some unorthodox acts, one’s life can change for the better.

P.S: The above essay won the third place in his school’s essay competition that was held on the spot without prior announcement. I thought I would like to share it with my readers, as it amazed me how young children are often our real life teachers to us adults with their innocent heart and the right understanding about the way life is.

Are you happy? What will make your life happier?”

Have you ever asked such questions, “Are you happy? What will make your life happier?” Strangely not many seemed to have, because when I do that, many get taken aback as though they never had thought about it seriously before. Many do not have a clue about whether they are happy or not, not to mention in knowing what will make them happier. Isn’t that absurd because everybody wants to be happy while avoiding pains and suffering at all cost? And yet, they do not know how to achieve that. They will mumble something of better family life, rich, health…but I can tell they are just scratching the surface only. No one really ever thought about it until they are asked.

Here is another one: what is happiness or suffering to you? Do you believe life is suffering or bliss? For me, they are not different. It is just how you look at it, either be happiness or suffering.

We are familiar with the saying “life is suffering” that which is from Buddhism. On the other hand, Indian yogis or mystics say “life is ecstasy” or “life is bliss”. Which one is true? Suffering or bliss? In fact, it is neither. Life itself is neutral but it’s our experiences of it that are differing. In Buddhism, whatever inside of us is called ‘variable’ whereas ‘constant’ that whichever is outside of us. What that means is that the fact, like a half cup of water, is constant but how we perceive it, whether as only half or still half, is variable that depends on how we feel or react to the given fact. Only half is reflecting lack or poverty whereas still half is reflecting spaciousness or abundance in our awareness.

What control we have of is ‘variable’ not ‘constant.’ Thus the key to lasting happiness and well-being lies within us, in ‘variable’, because we can choose how to feel in respect to certain circumstances, the ‘constant’, that which we can’t change. However people often misunderstand to be the other way around. They think if circumstances change, then they will be happy. They constantly chase after greener pasture over the rainbow. No wonder lasting happiness seems so illusionary. Searching for lasting happiness from outside instead of inside is like looking for an oasis in desert or utopia in the world we are living.

We need to turn around within, to our heart, if we were to live perpetual happiness that is unconditioned and ever present. Happiness that we experience by the material world is illusion because it is dependent upon the conditions that are outside of us. Changes are inevitable processes in life but whenever the condition changes, many perceive or react it as loss or pain, thereby, experiencing suffering. But if we know how to contain our heart to be at ease and content within, we would react it differently and can accept is as positive or growing process toward any changing circumstances. Then we have mastered the secrets of life on how to be happy forever. They lived happily ever after…after all, isn’t that the ultimate goal of human life?

Happiness is like tossing a coin; it is up to us how we flip. Tail or head, either way it is the same coin that which is our heart.

Happiness is dependent upon not where we are from outside but from inside our heart. Even if living in million-dollar mansions with finest furnishing and prize spouse, flying all over the exotic places around the world enjoying fame and status, was Pavarotti, one of the greatest Italian opera tenor, happy at the end of his day? No. He died regretting over many things especially over his young second wife who got greedy over his money while he was fighting for his life with cancer. He was deeply saddened not by his cancer but by what went around him regarding the distribution of his wealth after his death. He was known for his fiery temper and disregard for others with his arrogance. Despite his success, it seems he was not a happy person until the moment he died. I am sure he regretted also for leaving the faithful old wife for his-twenty-something assistant at that time.

We don’t have to go until Pavarotti, Tiger Woods, or Jack Nieo kinds of famous personalities to site the examples of lacking in contentment, happiness in the heart. Many ordinary people like us are also easy to complain over what we don’t have or cant’ have rather than appreciating what we have. Whenever we don’t like something or someone, we are quick to change or jump to another person. It is so easy to get overshadowed by feelings or sidetracked by desires for more that we overlook what actually create obstacles and cause miseries in our life. And yet we complain of ‘suffering’ ‘misery’ ‘unhappiness’ etc, when the cause is in our heart toward which we seldom turn. Same situation, same people, same space; it can turn to heaven or hell depending on how we decide or define it.

As the famous saying goes, whatever happens in life happens for a reason. We do not make mistakes but learn different ways each time we fall, to enrich life experiences, to be better person, to live better life. Why not reclaim our own the heart; be free from suffering, be free from fear and blame; then, you realize the life you have here and now is just perfect as it is. Living happily ever after is not only possible in a fairy tale but is our birth right. You just have to know how to turn to your heart whenever troubled or overly excited. Put your hands on your chest, close your eyes and breathe deeply into and out of it. Smell the breeze gently stroking your body, feel the vast spaciousness around you; open your ears to listen birds chirping and the sound of silence…see your thoughts, feelings fleeting by in front of you but you don’t have to go out each time it comes; just notice and let it go by gently coming back to your heart, to your breathing…then right there, bountiful happiness and bliss just for you to bathe in it. Life is beautiful when you know how to stop and to enjoy the moments like this…is there any better way to everlasting happiness?

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

The once a-celibate-monk-turned-to-a-love-guru John Grey shot to his fame when his book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” became the best seller of all time in the late ‘80s. First of its kind, it highlighted the fundamental differences between men and women in their genetic make-ups, especially in sexual orientation. Mars is a very hot planet, with lots of fire, energy, aggression, dynamism, and control issues. Venus is a sweet and loving planet that nourishes, nurtures, with affections and tenderness. When two very different people, originated from two different planets, decide to live together under the same roof, there bound to be lots of conflicts and frictions, for better or worse. By showing how to understand or reconcile the differences rather than try to confront or change each other, John saved many estranged relationships and marital breakups which were on steep rise since the Gloria Steinem’s feminism.

The book was also the very first book my husband gave me as a present when we first started dating years back. Unlike the new breed of young Koreans you see it today, cool and fantastic with their jaw dropping hip-hop skills, I belong to the previous uptight generation who doesn’t know how to relax or laugh easily with somewhat serious cultural pretention in our shoulders. My hubby on the other hand, who is fully western educated with his extra psychology diploma besides his major, initially had trouble communicating with me whenever we had “issues” to deal with. I usually shut up and opted to process within me whenever there was problem. He preferred to talk about “it” rather than “zip the mouth and bottle it up” like how I used to be. He didn’t know how to handle my silence. So he bought me the book which was an eye-opener to me. It never dawned on me how men and women think differently, perceive and act in almost opposite way from each other. I thought he should naturally know what I want before I say it. But he didn’t have a clue about what I want because I didn’t say it!

So it was very smart of him to buy me the book because I started to develop more understanding and patience about his different ways of functioning despite my own expectations that were otherwise. We seldom hit the walls up ever since because we both are aware of our generically different modes and do our best not to impose one’s way to another. That keeps our peace in the household most of time except occasional minor bickering every now and then.

Later when I learned of the language of stars, astrology, I realized that the positions of the Mars and Venus in our birth charts have great deals on our likes and dislikes, not only in love relationship but also in our overall inclination, aspiration, tendency, etc. Besides the XX and XY things, we have these energy attunements of fire, earth, air and water depending on how and where his or her Mars or Venus is located out of the twelve zodiac signs. For example, not all women like roses or remember anniversaries and not all men like sports or crazy about cars. Not all women are whimsical while not all men are control freaks. Among men and women, there are also individual differences. Thereby, if you are a man trying to ask out a woman of your interest, you can’t just rely on the general information. You have to know what she likes specifically be it rose or book. If you are a girl and waiting for a prince charming to discover you as the ragged Cinderella in distress, you might just have to wait till your hair turns grey. Because they say all good men are married. (The truth is all not-so-good men become all good after they married.) Thereby you have to know how to see your man pass the veils of fancy into the long future that are lying ahead with realistic modes. Then how to do?

One of the best way as I found out is by looking at the blueprints for the locations of the Mars and Venus of respective partner’s and yours’. They have to match and compatible if you want to make your relationships one of those made in heaven. There is no good god fairy mother in this modern world. Each man and woman has to go all the way out to find their matches according to their own standards and do their best to live through the fundamental differences even after married. Who said they lived happily ever after? Only in fairy tale! Either be it courting or managing marriage, men and women relationships are never easy or have straight forward answers. You just have to find out what works for your own mate and the blueprints just might hold the keys if you are interested in opening it.

People are very different inside and you can’t expect the same reactions from person to person. For example, after reading this story, if you buy your partner John Grey’s book, it might not work as well as it has been in my case. My Venus is in Aquarius; I am inclined towards ideas and concepts. I like learning over jewelry or fancy dining. That’s why, my hubby’s strategy to buy me books works for me especially when he needs to convince me something of his agenda. I am easy to get inspired by noble ideas in the books and he just needs to find a well-written book on that particular topic! Likewise, to know what you like, what your partner likes, you take a look at his/her Mars and Venus then it becomes easy. If your woman has her Venus in Taurus; then you better be prepared with house, cars and jewelry before you propose to her. If you are a girl and you like a man who has Venus in Taurus, make sure you know how to cook gourmet dishes. If her Venus is Gemini, then, you better polish your ears so that you can be a good listener when she is talking like a machine gun, etc. It is quite intriguing to discover the correlation between the stars and our characteristics or inclinations.

So like anything else, there is no straight forward answer in life’s different situation and dilemma, especially in men and women’s relationship. However if we have foreknowledge of our own and his/her astrological make ups, it helps greatly in saving our troubles of heartaches, toiling night sleeps, or yelling, screaming and banging the doors. It can save much money also from compulsive shopping sprees or night club routines in your vain efforts to please him or her. Unlike common misunderstanding of people and malpractices of many astrologers, astrology is not about fortune telling but is a guiding post to shed lights into every step of our lives, so that we don’t have to struggle in darkness to find the way. You just find a light switch then it gets immediately brighter. Astrology is about finding the light switch to illuminate our life.

Whenever I see nice singles, be men or women, I can’t help but to think of how to match-make them. As I understand, it is not easy trying to find own dates or mates these days, especially for busy city folks and professionals who virtually spend whole days and nights in the cars or offices. And worse still, finding the mate is one thing but maintaining the relationship is another matter entirely. All kinds of mishaps and common heartbreaks are what I can only glimpse from TV, internet or the weekend columns like Dear Thelma in the newspaper Star. That is why, more and more people are opting for singlehood, I guess. Given the choice, however, I would like everybody to find their soul mates and live happily ever after. Life is certainly better in pairs than in singles. My teacher once said that marriage is like a union of two enemies—either you make it a heaven by learning how to reconcile with enemies or suffer a living hell by constantly quarreling over differences. The Mars and Venus, go by the pairs. They need to learn how to embrace and reconcile rather than bickering at each other continuously if we were to make a heaven out of it.

I feel people take the relationships too lightly these days. The divorce rate is hitting almost over 50 percent in the western continents while our Asian countries or Malaysia picking up the global trend rapidly. We need more holistic approach in cultivating healthy relationships. Before Mars and Venus, we are the same human beings who just want love and acceptance of our own uniqueness. Men usually like to draw complete and definite picture. Details and objectivity are important. We women prefer abstract picture with tinge of emotion and imagination with some space to alter it later in case we change our mind! Besides that, some men are soft while some women are tough depending on their elements that are mapped on the blueprints. I recently happened to consult few of my yoga students on their love life that I thought of giving you some insights about the Mars and Venus. Although I have no intention to become a love guru like John Grey or Mike Myers but I don’t mind bringing astrological illumination in case you need to find a beacon of love life or domestic peace. You know where to find me. Cheers!

What do you wan to be when you grow up?

Just the other day, one of my former yoga students who has an active toddler boy, called me for Chinese New Year greeting. We exchanged few pleasantries catching up our missing times since her pregnancy a couple years back. While we were talking, she jokingly mentioned that her previous ambition to have five children still remained, but since she is not so young now (36 years old, a Tiger), she will just have to surrender to God for whatever He can give. Meanwhile they are aiming for a Tiger baby born of a Tiger mother this year. We laughed and hung up the phone after wishing her good luck.

Maybe it’s not only her but all girls’ dream is to have many children in their life if conditions and circumstances allowed. I too used to joke of having five children to make each one a lawyer, a doctor, a politician, a businessman and an artist—thus covering all my unfulfilled dreams of what I wanted to become when I grew up. As fate would have it, I married late and got busy with life and ended up with only one kid, instead of five. But I still love children and admire those who have many because they are such a bundle of joy at the same time, real life teachers to us.

As any parents would agree, it is never easy to raise kids since they demand of us endless sacrifices and patience. It’s also true that despite such enormous challenges, we will do anything for them, with whatever it takes, to make them happy and well. The sweats and toils of parenthood are nothing compare to what they bring to us --- unconditional love, pure happiness and sheer joy. They make any parent very proud and mellow, to look forward to their fine future with love and hope.

Unfortunately, as great as our love for them is, so are our expectations of them. In our overzealousness to give them the best, we sometimes forget how much is too much or how little is too little. Over pampered kids screaming and running around in a department store is one common sight these days. Hyperactive kids who constantly harass parents, teachers and friends, increasing number of kids with ADD and autism are common behavioral disorders in children. Even among the normal children, many silently suffer from high stress and anxiety attacks due to heavy school works, various tuitions and various talents classes.

Given the chance to grow in their own time and space, I believe that all children will eventually know exactly what they want and what’s best for them, because all children are whole and magical when they’ve decided to come to inhabit the earth. It is us adult that don’t see the wholeness and magic because we’ve imposed our perception of what’s best on them. Children are naturally genius (ie genii, magical), creative and wise. It has been consistently proven that a child learns best while playing and having fun, by mimicking the world around them with natural movements and creative imaginations. Their untainted minds are like a plain clear canvas, and only they can draw and paint anything they like. Parents only need to create the space and time for this to happen.

Increasingly we see many of our children grow up in a cloistered and hurried environment -- in the securely guarded house, in the car, in the school, tuition centers etc. Unfortunately these children quickly lose their ability to dream and eventually become small adults. However, we all love to see children with their uninhibited carefree spirit, silvery laughter and natural joy. I wonder why so many parents have forgotten this simple truth.

Recently, it has been found that yoga can be of great help for children in their early formative years. It increases their self-awareness, builds their self-esteem, and strengthens their bodies. Creative, fun and playful Yoga exercises increase energy as they release tension. It helps children by improving their flexibility, motor-skills, body image, memory and self-confidence. Yoga also enhances children’s concentration and improves patience. Yoga is a time-tested science of movement. Many of the postures are names inspired from nature. Some are named after animals, such as the cobra, cats and dogs. Some postures are called mountain, tree and lotus. Through various yoga playful exercises, these postures regulate the child’s brain and nervous system, making the child naturally vibrant and happy, and helping them to grow up as a healthy and whole person. As parents, we want to create the space and time for natural unfolding of genius, just as the cocoon cannot be forced, but to be allowed, to become a butterfly.

If you are and interested in KidsYoga, don’t miss out on the March intake as the seats are limited to ensure quality attention to each child.

Announcement:

1. KidsYoga for Fun and Play (new intake from 6th march 9.30am)

2. Free Yoga Walk for Better Health and Posture.
Every Sunday 6.30—8am, the north Badminton court in Section 7

3. Monthly Wellness Program (based on Chinese Medicine and Yoga therapy)

What's in the name?

My father belongs to the old Korean generation who believed daughters are liability in the household. Thereby having three daughters in a row after losing his first eldest son to a mysterious fever, was not exactly happy thing for him, especially in securing the ancestry line as the eldest son himself. According to our folklore superstition, giving humble names to the proceeding girls will ensure the birth of a boy later. So he just did that. He named his first daughter with the commonest suffix of “Ja” and the second daughter, which is me, with the second commonest one “Sook.” “Bong”, which means “phoenix” in Chinese character, is the shared middle name, thus Bong-Ja and Bong-Sook is our name that sounded pretty outdated even in my generation.

Much to his disappointment, though, the next one also was a girl. My good natured father, by then, didn’t have the heart to simply name her with yet another common one. So he gave her a very pretty and different name than us, Soo-Kyung, even skipping the “Bong” as the middle character. Yes, after that, he finally got a son, our younger brother. Of course, he was an exception. He got his name from an astrologer, instead of our father, after having done professional consultation. In fact he has two names, one for the formal and another for the nickname.

But strangely our not-so-affectionate father somehow dotted the third daughter, not the son. While we were growing up, father’s favorite was my younger sister. He will remember only her birthday, not even mother’s, and sneak presents or stipends to her occasionally. He was rather indifferent to the rest of us but nevertheless he was a quietly loving father that we didn’t really make a fuss out of his slightly extra affection toward her, except with the names, for me.

I was not proud of my name neither my elder sister’s because they sounded so country girls and old fashioned. I often accused him of naming us so insincerely. I forgot what his reaction was but surely he didn’t feel guilty at all nor my elder sister ever complained about it. It was only me, the second daughter, who was grumpy and unhappy with it all along. But one day years later, it changed for better after I discovered what was in the name. I came to read about a legendry bird called “Bong”; the same character of my name, from the Chinese classic “Zhuang-zi.”

In the tale that was told,

“There is a fish called Kun in the Northern Ocean, which measures several thousand li (1 li is about 1 kilometer) in length. One day, it suddenly changed itself into a bird called Bong whose back measures several thousand li in breadth. The Bong took wind and flew up to 90,000 li in the sky. From high up in the air, the Bong looked down and everything appeared indistinct. The hills, rivers and cities were no longer visible. The Bong gazed upwards and saw endless expanses. It became one with heaven and earth. The expansive mind must be limitless like Bong so that it is not rooted in the mundane. Only when one views things from the standpoint of time and space, then there will be oneness with all things.”

You see, it suddenly made sense to me why I had this unworldly and wondering nature. As far as I can remember I was always looking for something beyond from where I was. There seemed to me somewhere else place I needed to go. Either lying down in the field with my dreamy eyes following the floating clouds in the sky or standing at the corner of a wall watching people passing by… in retrospect, I think I was like a bird in the cage wanting to fly, to find freedom, to find my own place where I could feel belong…

Unlike my younger sister or friends, I seldom played any dolls or those children’s games. Neither my elder sister did. My elder sister was a more sadistic one than me. I don’t remember her ever playing or laughing. She was serious, studious and exposed herself early on different religious teachings, especially on Buddhism. I was not. I was a dreamer and an adventurer. I often checked out myself into some unknown place in the sky as though looking for the many gods described in the Greek mythologies. The Apollo in the chariot led by many horses passing by the glaring midday Sun, the long black haired Hades quietly sneaking around in the darkness of nights, and the almighty Zeus with the terrible thunderbolts in stormy summer, following behind the Narcissi who was in love with himself…

Could it be the name thing? Or are our fates related with our names? Eventually my elder sister settled in far away land Russia with her priest husband. I settled in where I am and with what I am doing right now. My younger sister never went out of the country but lives close with father after marrying into a large family. When I met my then future hubby who is a serious Taoist scholar, he interpreted my name as “a phoenix living by the spring water in a forest.” Then, it sounded even better. Added together with my Pisces sun sign and natural temperament to reflect in solitude, I realized that it was a perfect name for me all along. “Beth” is the nickname my hubby gave me to strengthen some of the weakness that he found from my birth data according to his Taoist Almanac calculation.

I doubt my father might have picked the name after reading the Zhuang-zi but it didn’t matter anymore. The story of the mysterious legendry bird Bong appealed to me now. Like him, maybe my elder sister and I also were eying on the expansive universe that exists beyond this ordinary world we are in. I likened myself to the fish waiting to get transformed to a great big bird, so that I could one day fly high up and become one with the great universe. Imagining myself a phoenix in the making, helps me greatly in setting my life direction thus far, especially when challenges of life are overwhelming at times. I would remember the magnificent bird who needs to bear considerable amount of time to transform itself from a fish, and exert great strength to fly high so that it can spread its huge wings in the vastness of the sky… then, I can easily find my composure and serenity.

Yes, in this fast moving modern era, cultivating infinite patience to keep one’s dream high and alive is much challenging task because everybody else seems so busy to achieve, accumulate and consume… Zhuang-zi advised us to be like a floating tweak in water, going around the rocks and trees in the streams and rivers, eventually to flow into the ocean. I find it is not easy matter, however. Learning how to flow with the currents of water without resisting, keeping my lucid idealism up without getting caught up in the crazy market places of insane materialism and corrupt spiritualism… But then, what I can’t give up is the dream I held for so long, the longing in my heart for some place ethereal and out worldly. I do not believe our life meant to be just this ordinary, wasting in never ending pursuits of sensual gratifications only while forgetting to live our hopes, dreams and visions with focus and efforts.

Maybe I am still a hopeless dreamer to insist my own place, my own styles, and doing my own things in my own phase. I try to teach people to slow down, to take time nurturing one’s strength and polishing one’s dream before rush out with desires and impulses. I hate to see people bringing their own downfall sooner or later. By doing so, I am living my own name and at the same time helping others to live their own name because it is often the case that one’s name reveals the true nature and purpose of their life. Do you know what is in your name? Maybe you want to look into it if you haven’t? You might be surprised to find out how much it holds the key in achieving your lifelong dream of happiness and purposeful living…

Mother crab teaches her children how to walk straight

Mother crab saw her children walking always sideways. She didn’t like it. So she decided to teach them how to walk straight by showing it off her graceful walk, the same sidewalk…

As any parent would agree in unison, the love for own offspring knows no limit, has no boundary; it is automatic, spontaneous and unconditional. As great as our love for them is, so is our expectation towards them. We often consciously or unconsciously project our unfulfilled dream, a different life than ours, to them in a hope that they will live it out for us inspired by our devotion, unconditional love, but of course with the tag “it’s for you, not for me.”

Very often than not, too high parental expectations and controls tend to make things exactly opposite than what we intended for. Too many parents and children suffer from their strained relationships. What was started as pure joy and selfless love, often turn into disappointment or hatred, thereby ending up to be bitter enemies with each other. Why is that? Because, in our hindsight, we often do not realize the obvious truth that our children copy what they see, not what we say, just like the mother crab.

I did one counseling today. It a nice lady in her early forty, whose younger sister I know very well. I will call her Yen. She doesn’t speak English, so I had to use an interpretator. Yen has been suffering from her unhappy marriage for long. The husband is a gambler and drinker. At least, he doesn’t abuse her but has never contributed a single cent to the household. They have one daughter who is 12 years old this year. She has been the sole breadwinner all along in the house where in-laws are staying together. She has given up hope for the husband long ago but her love for the daughter is like her lifeline. Just mentioning her daughter, she will become teary. With the husband, they have been living in different rooms for long but he wouldn’t agree to divorce, neither does she really care for it by now. As long as it is good for her daughter, it is better than nothing.

Now she was trying to move out from the house because the in-laws are constantly bad-mouthing about Yen to the girl. The daughter, Han, doesn’t talk or show her emotion much, but is close with the grandmother and aunty. So is with Yen. But since Yen was working all the while, it was the in-laws looked after Han most of time. Han used to be very loving and attached to the mother. But Yen herself was too unhappy with her own life that she was drowning every night with one bottle of wine to sleep. Thereby there has been growing distance between mother and daughter, especially since Han had entered puberty. She became quiet, aloof, indifferent toward anyone in the house, whereas she is much vibrant and active in the school according to her teachers. Apparently Han is doing double characters inside and outside of houses. She also loves readings especially Chinese inspirational stories.

Yen came to me today because she wants to know what her changing astrological time in one year will bring it to her. I did her birth charts reading 7-8 years back when she was in the middle of greatest agonizing time period. There was no way she could escape from the sufferings she was going through at the time, except bearing it, like living out the given sentences. To give her hope, however, I told her of better time awaiting and turning fortune if she can persists. Though uneducated, she is kind, sincere and tough with strong will. She listened to the advice and bore the difficult situation well. She also has put on a lot of weights due to drinking. Meanwhile her life did improve financially because of the sibling company she is working for was progressing steadily, thus paying her better salary. She saved enough money to be able to afford a house of her own but she is concerned that her daughter wouldn’t want to follow her out or Han might be lonely if both of them move out. With the eyes and face red with tears, she asked me what she should do.
Handing her over tissues to wipe, I asked her back, “Why do want to move out from house? You think it will make you or Han happier?” She is not sure. “Then, do you know what will make you happy?” She can’t answer either. “Is there anything you want for yourself when astrological time changes for the better?” She doesn’t know what she wants to make her life better.

Then, why do you want to move out when you are not sure of anything? “Because the in-laws are bad-mouthing about me which is no good for Han’s education.” If your mother-in-law says good things about you, will it make you happy? “No, she will never do that.” But it’s you, not her own son, who have been supporting her living all along, why will she treat you badly or bad mouth about you, instead being grateful to you? “Because she has been unhappy and suffering with her own mother-in-law, that is why she does that to me.” Oh, I see, now you know what your mother-in-law is saying is really nothing to do with you, but it’s from her own stresses. And you are trying to move out from the house just because of that. What if you sabotage your financial support to her, then, will she change her attitude towards you?

“No, I don’t want to do that. She is so old already and I don’t want to be so calculative and mean to the poor old lady.” Okay, you know she will not change and you know why she does that to you. You also have no intention to withdraw your support from her. Then will moving out from the house solve anything, especially when she loves her granddaughter and Han is close with her? Do you think Han will be happier by living with you only even if she follows you out from the house?
“…No, she wouldn’t…” Then, do you think you moving out from the house is the answer to your happiness? “….”

You see, you can move the house as many times as you want, but if the owner doesn’t change her mindset, then no matter where she goes, the same old suffering will also follow her. Changing astrological time is also the same. Changing Time reflects shift in our energy and view points, not necessarily means that, your external life presenting you a total make-over in one night. You don’t know what you want from your own life, how then, the planets, even God can give you anything at all to make you happier? Astrology is not about fate but is about destiny. Those who believe in fate, expect everything to drop from the heaven while themselves do nothing. Then, at most they can receive what fate has been allocated to. They are bounded to the changing conditions of internal and external influences, thereby endless sufferings, caused by our insatiable desires for more and better. Destiny is that, you find your own happiness, not by resisting or forcing to change the given conditions, but by attuning yourself to the changing course of nature and time like how all the rain, stream, river water flow down toward the ocean, toward the greater happiness.

You want to be happy when the Time changes. Can you write down 5 things that will make you happy? What are the five things that you want when you astrological time changes for better?
Initially she hesitated but soon she came out with 5 wishes; 1) To earn more money 2) To travel overseas 3) Han getting married to a good man 4) Han becoming a successful career woman 5) Wanting to take care of grandchildren.
Okay, then, how does she expect to earn more money? Is she unhappy working for her sibling’s company? No, she is happy and content. Then, how to earn more money than now if she has no intention to work for another job? If the brothers’ company does better, then, they can pay her more salary…

Oh, I see, out of 5 wishes, 4 wishes are all dependent on others except one. That means, her happiness is dependent upon others. Travelling overseas, she could do it anytime even now because she has enough savings. Yes, she already booked for Taiwan trip with Han.

The other three wishes are all for your daughter. Do you think you have control of whom she will marry and how she will turn out to be in the future? No… If her life doesn’t turn out to be as you wished, then, again, you will be unhappy. Yes… Do you think Han will do better with her study by following you out of the house? No… You think Han will know how to find happiness when you only showed her how unhappy and bitter with your life like right now? No…

You don’t have to wait until the stars to change its course because you can be happy right here and now if you just turn around to see things differently. You love your daughter so much and you will do anything for her. Then, why not you start over by working on yourself to become better looking, healthier like last time I saw. Your daughter will be happier by seeing you looking after yourself, rather than following you out from the house. You pity your poor mother-in-law despite her faults but you know she will not change her attitude towards you. That is very compassionate of you. Then, can you just ignore whatever she says because you know it’s nothing to do with you? That she could do. If you don’t move out now, then, you already have more money to spend with your daughter. You could travel overseas more often and buy her things to make Han happier. No, she doesn’t want to spoil the girl with over indulgence. Okay, then, you can buy her more books she likes to read and keep it also for her college education so that she can have good career. Yes, that will do.

I explained her more of the difference between “fate and destiny.” Fate is something we don’t have control of. Destiny is something we have control of. Outer circumstances, like the looks, family and culture we are born into, are fated. That belongs to the past. But from the moment, you come to contact with astrology, then, it becomes destiny because you have control of your feelings at the present moments, and to chose next action course that which will determine your better or worse future. To know your future, you just need to look around your present. If you showed your daughter mother’s miseries and drunken nights, then, is there any wonder why she is shutting herself off and becoming depressed and overweight these days? Are you not repeating your mother-in-law’s mistake of passing up her frustration to your daughter?

Fate is that, out of our hindsight, people keep repeating the same old patterns of suffering again and again. Destiny is that, out of reflection, you start to choose deliberate action course that will make you grow toward happiness and fulfillment. No one can bring us happiness except ourselves. The same circumstances, the same house and people, you just turn around to see it different only. Then, happiness right there for you to pick up. You certainly need your in-laws’ help so that you can have your working life and independence from your irresponsible husband. Your in-laws also need you as the breadwinner while your daughter is well taken care of by them. You just need to find something else that will make you happier like picking up some hobbies rather than drinking. She is good at hand craft. Okay, then, take some courses to learn cooking, tailoring, or knitting, etc. Spend some money and time together with Han rather than keep it all for saving for a house that can’t really guarantee better happiness.

That is destiny. We have the choice to make our destiny based on our decision today. If we chose the action course that will make us feel better and proud of ourselves, today, then, our tomorrow sure will be brighter. But if we choose to drift away with whatever comes along mindlessly, irresponsibly, then, we bound to repeat the same mistake, to the same fate, again and again while wondering why life is still so full of suffering despite your hard work. They often blame fate, parents, spouse, children, education, culture, society, etc, for their misery while real problem lies in our ignorance to look around ourselves.

When we awaken to life, you suddenly realize that, you have all the things, people, jobs, etc, the right and perfect conditions for your best evolution and happiness. You can see with your own eyes that how you have been the very cause of your own misery and unhappiness. The past is past that which brought you here to the present moment. Whatever seems imperfect at the moment, you don’t repeat or feel remorseful but adjust the course so that it can bring you different destination. Why are we keep repeating yesterday’s thoughts and behaviors again and again today, while wondering better future never seem to be in the horizon? No one asked us to walk on the same foot- steps with our troubled past but we constantly duplicate what we have been exposed to, especially from the parents’ and cultural conditionings. It takes mindfulness and repentance to bypass our humpy bumpy road blocks that are marked with many wrong sign posts. That is true humanity, accepting our shortcomings at the same time resolving to improve.

Though uneducated, Yen is wise and humble. She has the disciplined mindset as well. She understood very well of my points. Initially came in with nervousness, she left with brighter face, more clear and confident with what she should do. Thankfully, daughter’s changing astrological time also shows their better happiness in the horizon. I hope for the best and fine future for Yen and the daughter. If you are a parent, and you don’t want your children to be like you, what will be the solution? Yes, you are right, you have to know how to do straight walk, not sidewalk…they always copy what they see, not what you say…