That is Fullness, this is fullness

“That is Fullness.  This is fullness.  From Fullness this fullness comes about.  Bringing this fullness from Fullness, Fullness alone remains.  Om Peace Peace Peace”

“Om puramadah purnamidam purnatpurnamudacyate Purnasya purnamadaya purnamevavasisyate  Om santih santih santih”

During graduate school days, we were asked to memorize this Sanskrit verses and recite it all the time.  As you will try to repeat yourself…you also realize it doesn’t make sense at all what that means.  Yes, it was same to me as well.  I didn’t understand the meaning but nonetheless I memorized it and recited it every now and then. 

That was some twenty years ago. 

Though I didn’t fully understand its meaning at that time, somehow I liked its intonations and rhythms to stay deep in my awareness till now.  Out of blue, it just pops out at the tip of my tongue or on the surface of immediate thoughts on many occasions.

That is to say, I now understand better, though not fully, its meanings and its implicit beauty…

I used to have this compulsive habit, that is, to organize things around me.  I can’t stand messiness.  I need to see things put into proper places and stay that way nice and neatly. 

Not only with things but with my thoughts and others’ thoughts.  I can’t stand if my thoughts are not organized, not in accord with my actions; the more so with others.  I will easily flip if I see somebody is so messy in their thoughts, not keeping their words to say one thing and do another. 

I would go very restless if I can’t expect certain outcomes, the path is not clear, or when it turns out completely different than what I had prepared or predicted…(this tendency is from my father, who was razor sharp punctual in his every words and actions for all his life.)

But then, living in Malaysia for more than 15 years…changed all that.  You deal with so imperfect chaos in every aspects of life.  Traffic horrors is one thing, fluctuating weathers, my computer and internet modems that got burn by thunders so few times, endless episodes with immigrations, government offices, in-laws, the neighbor who keep ten over cats, another neighbor who covers their grass with green net to prevent the cats peeing over it, and another who let the house alarm ring for half an hour every afternoon just to check whether its working…

You see…isn’t it so imperfect world to live in??? But, what to do…that’s the way it is…life in Malaysia and how the people are…because they are so imperfect, it’s so beautiful and fun place to live at the same time.  Thus as time goes on, I find myself enjoying life more and more in this not-so perfect, and yet, so perfectly humane country.  (This is fullness, that is Fullness….)

I used to complain easily at seeing others not quite perfect, at the injustice of the world around me, and I would rile against tyranny.  But that habit of complaining and riling for every little, little things, made me very sad and weak.  It robbed me of energy to focus on more positive values.  In the end, I saw that the key to everything is to surrender.  I can fix myself but not others, not much else. 

We cannot go beyond our circumstances, people around us, while criticizing its faults, for they serve us, as all restriction does.  To go beyond this plane, we first have to be able to accept it as is, and see beauty within it, no matter what.  We have to see it as perfect in its imperfection.  Then we can develop the spiritual maturity to leave things as they are, understanding that there is a greater knowing here that seeks balance, and it knows what it is doing.

Once we accept life without struggling against it, we can see that everything serves us in one way or another.  A lousy mean helps us appreciate and remember a good meal.  A defeat strengthens us for the next victory.  If we try not to quantify and judge things and accept them as part of our overall experience, then only we can become mature.  All of a sudden that power that should have been ours from the beginning is returned to us as a calm individuality—a creative stillness that allows us to be.  Acceptance unshackles us from the restraints that we have created for ourselves, and it allows us to explore inside our own individuality.

Thus I just want to say a big thank you to you all, how perfect friends you all are for all these years…and I wish you all a very Happy New Year and be the Perfect Being as you were in the year 2013 too!

A gift to you all, a Perfect Mandala drawn by our trainee instructor Yuen….

With love and friendship,

Beth.

Travelling lightheartedly

Whenever come to this time of the year, the energy in our surrounding becomes rather hyped as people are busying themselves with holidays, celebrations, gatherings and New Year plans, etc.  Naturally, the yoga studio is becoming quieter and more still.  So with the tranquility that is more evident than usual during this period, I sit back and take some space in my awareness to reflect and recollect.

As usual, there are some regrets and there are some triumphant too.  But more than anything, I became very much lighter in my heart and spirit this year.  So I am proud and content. 

I always considered myself a simple person without many things to clear after me if I were to die tomorrow.  It was my foremost priority to travel lightly in life, so I regularly sort things off in my house, wardrobe, etc.  But then, I realized my major hindsight.  I forgot to look into my heart and spirit.  To my astonishment, there were much heavy stuffs still uncleared for ages….

So my major New Year resolution is to travel lightheartedly. 

We all are travelers in the journey of life.  We came from somewhere and will go somewhere at the end.  In between we travel; we are ‘living.’  But in the way we travel, the styles and preferences are all differ.  Some likes sightseeing in the comfort of well-organized tour groups, moving together with guides and the fixed schedules.  Some likes backpacking without particular plans or company, preferring to stay or leave wherever, whenever they feel like it. 

The first group favors structure and security whereas the latter freedom and adventure; but each has its own price to pay—inhibition versus uncertainty; dangers of stagnation versus self-delusion; shallowness versus rootlessness, etc.; just to mention few. 

I am definitely in the second group.  How about you? 

I wouldn’t say which one is better than the other because whichever group you are in it is all individuals’ choices.  And we are responsible for our own choice not for others, but to make sure you are aware of what it entails when making choices, so that we have no regrets whenever the journey comes to the end.  After all we got one life only to live well accordingly to what our hearts desire, not by what others might expect, think or judge of us.  Otherwise you might have to struggle with the intense burden on your shoulders throughout the journey, and there is no sadder way to come to the end the journey regretting over what other routes we might have taken rather than the one we have walked on. 

Many things have happened during this year for me, and at the same time, not much has changed externally.  Instead it was a lot of inner turbulences, changes that occurred.  I can’t tell you what all that was, but, one thing for certain, I came out feeling stronger and clearer sense of where I am and where I am heading in this stage of my life.  As I reflect the journey I walked before, even what I thought the worst moments in life, in retrospect, it was not all that bad or lousy.  Actually every time it created more space to push me forward to be a better and more useful person.  Without this kind of occasional life challenges, we are so easy to get slacked.  Our inert laziness will always have tendency to drown us down into self-mortifying tragedies. 

So I am glad and grateful for many things in this year and am looking forward to the life journey lies ahead. Still there are no definite plans or certain routes that I can foresee to thread on. And yet, I can sense fresher air and brighter sunrays from where I am sitting.  There is also more grateful heart for life in just the way as it is.  Thus I think the New Year is holding something even better than this year. 

I wish you all the same spacious awareness to reflect and recollect your life during last few days of 2012 and come out with lighter heart to welcome 2013 full heartedly. 

I have attached Yoga Class Schedule 2013.  Please note for the time changes and additional morning classes.  There are also additional TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) healthcare feature that is enhanced.  You can check the website for the details.  Sorry for the delays in making website change.  Our assistant instructor Ms. Vivienne Yu has been on the technical task for it, but, her mother fell into severe health mishaps… Let’s hope together for her mother’s speedy recovery, and, at the same time, wish each other and family the best health and happiness in the New Year!

See you all in the Yoga class!

Yours sincerely,

Beth Lim

Let’s go more with the flow in the New Year

I like water because of its fluidity.  The waves of water, its perpetual motions, represent everything in nature that flows effortlessly with rhythms and harmony.  I like to view our life as water.  Everything comes and goes, up and down, like waves.  When I can surrender my inner struggles to the natural flow, then, I feel the sense of grace and blessing floods over me easily. Then daily toils are just becoming prayer like offerings from the heart and I can appreciate life in more impersonal ways rather than being caught up by it…I guess this is one of the advantages living a yogini’s life, that, it is easy to be contented.

I feel the waves of water in our breath too.  I can feel its dancing movement in the air from the studio… Though full of sweats and heats mixed with different odors, smells from nearby restaurant and cars honking from outside of the open windows… Every time, I can glimpse exotic beauty inherent in life, in people, with so much going on in the studio during yoga classes…the invisible rhythms of waves of emotions, breaths, and grunts… Through it, I see people becoming anew again and again.  Its powerful dynamism… my heart often aches because I can never describe fully, on how much I am grateful towards those sweating yoga students, as they do not know how much they are enriching my life in return.   

Many say life is struggle.  But it is natural to live with fair amounts of up and down, happiness and pains, or changing fortunes and seasons.  That is the nature of life.  What is natural, cannot be struggle.  Sometimes life does present unexpected blow, but, if we were to trust the inherent rhythms of life, then, we can easily compose ourselves to go with the flow.  As everything that has come, has gone that this too shall pass….

Once you accept life without struggling against it, you can see that everything serves you in one way or another.  A lousy meal helps you appreciate and remember a good meal.  A defeat strengthens you for the next victory.  If you try not to quantify and judge things and accept then as part of your overall experience, you become mature.  All of a sudden that power that should have been yours from the beginning is returned to you as a calm individuality—a creative stillness that allows you to be.  Acceptance unshackles you from the restraints that you have created for yourself, and it allows you to explore inside your own individuality.

Another turbulent year 2012 is about to go leave our sights.  It is time for recollections and reflections.

There are many things I am not good at it, especially regarding anything with hi-tec.  My brain just freeze and I feel choking in my gut whenever I see any button functions to figure out.  But still, having to live in this 21^st century of digital era, I am slowly figuring out how to use them.  So now I can at least download photos for my blogs, for instance.   

This year, I have been resuming yoga blog writings, and besides that, busy with my Korean blogs.  I am writing every day over there, and posting different photos as well.  Psy’s Gangnam Style is not really about what Korea is.  In the same way, what is true spirit of Malaysia is not well represented by the media or government slogans.  So, my New Year resolutions include introducing “inner views of life in Malaysia” to Koreans, through my eyes, and our Yoginis’ eyes. 

So if you have any photos that are nicely showing slices of multiculturalism and unique Malaysian lifestyles, maybe you could send it to me too.  I could write up appropriate stories to post over there.  But, please don’t send me dozens every day.  I am afraid it will clog my email box. 

Please check the website in few days.  There are some changes in the Time Table and the Yoga Fee structure.  You can still choose “Once per week with RM 90” if you are busy.  But to encourage more practices, I am opening “UNLIMITED with RM 120 per month”.

There will be Morning Classes as well, starting from January 2013.  There will be more classes and Chinese Medicinal services open for public as well.  More details will be sent to you by another email in few days after finishing updating the website. 

Don’t forget to check out the Yoga blogs if you haven’t been noticing the new stories posted lately.  I promise to write at least once per week in the New Year.  Maybe sometimes more often if I can put my imagination and hands in harmony well. 

Two more weeks to go with the Year 2012, and, I would like to propose to all yoginis, to learn to go with flow in the New Year.

I hope you all will have a good closure and share your happiness together in the Yoga Center in 2013!

Your friend, always!

Beth.

Tunnel vision

I used to have an ‘acerbic’ penning habit.  Since young, I had the eyes of seeing it through both sides of a coin in anyone, in any situation, coupled with inability to hold my tongue.  I would often lose my sleep over it if I didn’t get to express what I saw.  But then, my mother wouldn’t allow her children using any foul or quarrelsome language.  So whenever I felt disagreement with friends or others, I would write them letters, to get my points across, that which pierced their hearts like sharp spears at times, like the Simon Cowell.  My too direct honesty sometimes brought me closer with others but many times bitter enmity to break apart close relationships with friends. 

It will be a really long story if I were to narrate them all.  In retrospect, my sense of self-righteousness, in the price of hurting others, though I might have been right at times, was not something encouraging attitude for my own good.  It was like I had a tunnel vision, so narrow in my point of view that many times I failed to see others’ points of view.  What I didn’t know was, then, not many were comfortable in knowing the full picture or sometimes a little ignorance is better for the person concerned than hurting them in the name of objectivity.  It took me many more years of mistakes and few broken friendships to realize that.  One particular incident was regarding a dear school friend whom I lost in touch now.

During my school days, I didn’t have wider circle of friends except few close ones because of my not-so-well-rounded character.  But then, with close friends, I was rather initiative, enthusiastic and outspoken to always assume some kind of a leader role.  I had a group of seven friends from the same high school with whom I formed small alumni together.  Among them, I was particularly close with one friend Mee-Jung. 

She was different than us, a tall and big size girl with not so good looking and bossy temper, whereas the rest of us were more or less similar small frames and mild temperaments.  In school, not many liked her because she behaved like a bully.  But I knew she was a tender hearted-girl inside.  Her nasty behavior was to hide her inferior complex.  I felt sympathy to take her in our group of friends after getting everybody’s consent on her behalf.  Initially it took us some efforts to get used to her but we got along fine with time as she was a hard working and caring person.  She and I were particularly close.  And the towering framed friend next to me (I was the smallest sized in the entire school!)…people teased us as “oak tree and cicada.”

Ironically she was the first one to get married among us.  We were only 21 years old then, just fresh out of high school, some were still studying and some already started working.  Her parents, concerned with her slim chance of finding a suitor arranged marriage to a 10 year older skinny man who liked her extra large size after they’ve met through a matchmaker.  Within a month, we were attending their wedding and it was a sight to behold; she was like an oak tree, he like a willow!

Well, then, he was an architect with a small nice apartment besides the famous beach town, Hae-Un-Dae, in Pusan.  After the hurried wedding, though, they had to go through some initial rumbling-tumbling because of my friend’s hot temper.  But their matrimonial union soon got settle into a loving relationship with their small apartment becoming our favorite place to hang out.  We could see the sun rise and sunset over the horizon from her balcony.  It was so beautiful beyond words and I can still smell the sea even now.  We thought how lucky she was.  Many people in Korea struggled through their entire life to own a house even now.  What’s more a beach apartment? 

She seemed happy and easy at first.   But soon I started to notice her turning into a miserly housewife who weighed and calculated every little, little things including the expenses occurred through our regular visits.  We became uneasy especially for me because, she started to create a crack in our mutually generous friendships.  Other friends hushed behind her back and chose to stay away.  But I didn’t.  I couldn’t swallow her pettiness that was sometimes too much.  So I wrote her a letter.  I pointed out her pettiness that was becoming as small as her apartment, and suggested to open her eyes to behold the vast oceanic vision that was right in front of her windows.  It was a metaphor for me to use the apartment and the ocean in comparison.  But for her, I mocked at her ‘small apartment.’  She became furious to serve all her ties with me immediately.  I also became angry at her ingratitude to forget my help of having any friends at all in the first place. 

So like that, we didn’t see or talk to each other for many years.  Until one day I heard she moved into a rented room with the husband.  Apparently the apartment was given by the hubby’s elder brother but he took it back after he failed in his business.  She also couldn’t conceive naturally.  So in and out of hospital, they were going through rough times.  That was why she was becoming hysterical and counting every cent….  I apologized to her for my wrong doing.  She apologized to me for her rashness.  We became better terms again but once broken, it was broken forever.  We couldn’t really patch things up and gradually we grew further apart never to hear again after I left my country for good. 

I should have remembered the lesson I’ve learned but it took me few more broken friendships and hurtful relationships for years until I finally got the picture that, I was the problem, not the other way around.  I thought I was right.  I was correct and far-sighted one whereas others’ are so narrow and poor.  Eventually I realized that this kind of self-righteous attitude hurt myself more than others.  So gradually I became much softer and kinder in my words, and more careful in my hearts as well as in my conducts; to seek for harmony rather than being right, to sing out loud alone rather than write an acerbic letter, to breathe in and out five times, ten times or many more till my frustration settles…

It turned out good practice….because I am no longer caught in my tunnel vision, instead, I can see the world in twinkling smile, lights and perfection even if people including myself are so imperfect and full of dusts busying to bury under the blankets…

Yoga Story 12. She is Madam. Chuah

Yes, she is Madam. Chuah who is in her mid-fifty.  She started yoga less than a year ago.  But it took her more than two years to finally come to yoga class, after she gave me an inquiry call.  Her daughter who is studying journalism in US was my former yoga student.  Her name is Jolyn.  Jolyn recommended her mother to go for yoga classes before she leaves.  As Madam. Chuah became an empty-nest mother after her two children gone for oversea studies, the good daughter Jolie concerned for her mother that she might strain herself with boredom.  But it seems, Madam. Chuah who appears rather shy and reserved and nice lady, apparently not so confident of her own body’s flexibility to bend.  She hesitated for two years before she made up her mind.

When she came to the first class…I became concerned…not because she can’t even sit with simple crossed leg positions from steep ankles, but because, her seemingly reserved and self—conscious outlook… Usually, with such expressions wearing in the face…do not last long in the yoga class.  They soon give up after one or two classes.   Though I was very much attentive in her every move, I hid showing my too-much concern and instead, I just let her be, asking her not to push herself and do what you can, then, it will improve in time…

Boy…how wrong I was… She neither gave up nor missed the classes.  She was a quietly disciplined and inwardly strong lady, and beautiful not only in her appearance but in her heart too… She was the type who ever so respectful to others while hard working to improve herself.

She was improving by the classes, getting younger looking and energy levels also increased.  Her face became more and more glowing with confidence and the body became much more flexible too.  She can do the Boat pose (Navasana) no problem.  It is tremendous improvement compare few months before when she couldn’t even grasp her ankles lifted in the air.  She can do the Forwarded bending (Uttanasana) as in the photo, in almost 180 degree!!!  Her triangle pose is one of the best looking among others.  Every time when I see her quietly working on herself steadily, mindfully, she is reminding me of the typical ‘relentless spirit’ of yogis. 

In the society we are living, everything moves and changes too fast.  Thus, the yogis’ lifestyle in where it is required to work on oneself one step at a time, like how water drops on the stone to finally penetrate into making holes…do not appeal that much to people, especially to youngsters.  Liposuctions and diet pills are preferred over healthy diet, yoga and other exercise regime.  Expensive cosmetic surgeries are preferred over pranayama and meditation practice that brings out not only inner beauty, but also spiritual blossoming.  Everybody is looking for a quick-fix push button, while Madam. Chuah is relentlessly working on herself one day, one class at a time, without realizing how much she is getting younger and more shining by day.  

Whenever I praise her, she gives me this shy smile… I just love to peep at her every now and then during yoga classes and feel proud of her.   So I snapped the pictures to share with you all…!!!

Can you see the matching planets from these guys?

It seems these days youngsters are getting more and more creative and fun loving in whatever they do.  They are brilliant and amazingly technically savvy.  They also do things very differently than older generations. Particularly revamping with customary functions are their expertise that calls for constant innovations and refreshing outlook.    

Last Sunday morning, I and my two men (hubby and Edwin) attended a wedding tea ceremony held in the groom’s house.  After looking around the couple’s sweetly decorated house and ear-busting fire-crackers went afire welcoming the newlyweds, I went out to the corner compound in where buffet brunch (breakfast cum lunch) was served for the guests.  With my plate filled with a bit of food and fruits, I took my seat in an empty table waiting for my two guys to join me.

Then, it seemed they were the groom’s friends standing behind me in the buffet line, and they started to seat around the table in where I was sitting alone.  They didn’t ask my permission whether they can join me. They also didn’t notice my hubby and son still in the buffet line queuing up.  They just smiled at me and helped themselves one by one soon filling all the seats of the round table.  I must have looked like a nice aunty who is a single (?). 

My hubby got slightly off balance to see me surrounded by these groups of youngsters but soon found himself a seat in another table with the grooms’ family.  Edwin seemed disoriented to see his mother sitting with other men (?) for the first time in his life, and constantly looked towards my table.  The groom’s sister also was a bit concerned least I might feel uneasy.  In fact, I felt amused by their sudden company that I kept my smile to make them feel easier. They didn’t know who I was and whom I came with, and surprised to know I didn’t speak any Chinese except English.  They attempted few pleasantries to me but soon went onto their chit-chats. 

While eating quietly and listening to their chats, I noticed on their T-shirts are written each Weekday-theme; Sunday in red color, Tuesday in pink, Thursday in peach, Friday in light blue, Saturday in purple.  So I asked them, where is Wednesday?  They were happy that I noticed their dressing codes.  Wednesday was in another table.  He stood up and waved his hands excitedly.  All of them didn’t speak English well except the guy in Tuesday-pink next to me.  He was the friendliest and most sociable one, too.  

Quietly enjoying their company, I felt even more amused to notice that, unconsciously they were all wearing according to their matching planetary energy.  Except the Tuesday and Friday one.  I could see the Tuesday guy likes pink-color that is why he wore it.  But he was not matching to Mars character.  Instead more of Venus character of fun—loving and party goer.  And the Friday guy was more of Mars character, sturdy and solid and looked strong, too.  So I casually mentioned that they should have changed the T-shirts.  They asked why?  I smiled and didn’t elaborate further.  They will be even more shocked if they knew I could read planets from people. 

You see, I am an astrologer.  I can’t help but to observe the energies of the surroundings and people wherever I am and whomever I am with.  

Sunday is the Sun’s day; the Sun is bright and shining with confidence, boldness, and strength.  You see the guy?  Can’t you see him a bit of show-off?

Monday is the Moon's day;  gentle, soft, cooling and calming.  See the guy with the Monday-T, how soft and sweet smile he has on his face?

Tuesday is Mars’ day; the commander-in-chief, fighter, muscular and serious.  The guy in Friday-shirt is more suitable.

Wednesday is Mercury’s day; happy-jolly innocence of child, lean, light.  The guy’s smirk in Wednesday-shirt shows the typical mercurial naivety.

Thursday is Jupiter’s day; weighty, round, pleasing and easy like a chubby priest.

Friday is Venus’ day; happy, party, fun, sociable, showy and sweet.

Saturday is Saturn’s day; ever solemn and serious, preserving and hardworking like a farmer. 

Look at the picture!  Don’t they all chose the best fit for each, though unconsciously?

We all are like them.  Without knowing, we naturally align ourselves to the planets we feel most affinity with.   As for me, I like pink, Venus.  I am a sweet middle aged woman. My hubby likes red, the Sun.  His stature is a bit intimidating for an Asian.  Edwin likes blue and black, Saturn.  He is a bit too mature for his age.  How about you?  What planet do you feel most close to you?

Yoga story 11. Lotus Pose (Padmasana) and Seated Mountain Pose (Parvatasana)

One of the most difficult yoga poses for many yoginis is probably the Lotus Pose (Padmasana), in where you seat with both legs crossed by placing one foot and another over the opposite side of thighs.  For beginners or non-beginners alike, if your lifestyles haven’t been much closer to the floors while growing up, then, doing the Lotus Pose for the first time during the Yoga classes can be quite a body-shock.  Excruciating pains from the steep ankles in efforts to put it over to the other side…many would scream and I have no heart to bear seeing such pains from their faces.  So I rarely ask them to perform in the classes. 

But if you can, there is no other yoga poses that make you feel so good, comfortable and graceful like the lotus poses.  The back is naturally straight and gorgeous looking; the lower back feels so free from any tensions and aches; the ankles and legs get to receive good blood circulations to relieve all the sluggishness from long hours of seating and standing.  It can hold the ever-wondering mind into a lotus flower like beautiful tranquillity. 

The next, with fingers interlaced, you stretch your arms over the head while pressing the chin slightly toward the collarbone…then it becomes the Seated Mountain Pose (Parvatasana).  While remaining in Parvatasana, you invite few deep and conscious breaths in and out throughout the chest and abdomen…you become as solid as mountain; as fierce as the Lord Shiva deep in the Himalayas Mountain atop who is ever absorbed in the blissful Samadhi…I don’t know about others, but, as for me, naturally calm and sanctimonious feeling arise from within whenever seat in this way.  It creates certain distance to feel safe and stay centred from daily turbulent minds and vulnerable emotions.  It’s my favourite yoga pose.

Since small, even before I began Yogic Path, somehow I used to love to seat in Lotus Pose.   I had unusual habits of seating with legs crossed under the study tables or dining tables whenever I have chance.  I used to like doing sit-ups and headstands too.  Maybe I was a yogi in my past life if you believe in reincarnation like me.  

But the real reason that I was doing louts pose so religiously was, to be honest…it was to make my legs slim… Yes, that’s right.  To lose weight.  I had the phobia of becoming fat while growing up even though I was never overweight.  In fact, I used to harbour around in underweight zone all the time. 

I had one elder sister who didn't quite watch her mouth with what to say or what not to say.  While growing up, my sister used to tease my short stature and legs.  Of course, she herself had the nicest figure among us, the three daughters.  I was shortest and smallest.  We used to go to the same junior high school.  One day while walking to school together, we saw a dwarfish woman with round body like a drum.  Then my sister spat out this fatal blow on my young mind, “you will become stocky like her!”

Since then, every time when I looked at the mirror…I saw myself short and stocky…Every time when I see a pass-by who is short and stocky…I saw myself in her… Oh, how much I hated and how much I was scared of getting fat…thus I started to develop disinterest in food.  Skipping ropes vigorously after eating and sitting in the lotus pose whenever I can.  I don’t know when I could finally overcome her curse (?).   I did manage to come out all right after all.  Yes, short but not stocky, and in fact quite good looking for my age, to often receive disbelief if I reveal my actual age. 

I contribute to my sister’s curse (?) for my yogic habits of sitting that started even before I learned of Yoga.  I can’t seat that long in the chair if I don’t fold my legs.  I get aches in the back and legs.  So I will have to cross my legs even when I am sitting in restaurant chairs.  At first, my hubby didn't quite like my ways of sitting.  He said I look like “ahpeck (not sure of the spelling…but it means an old uncle in the coffee shop).  So I try to hide my legs under the table clothes.  Otherwise, I do my best to sit with legs down.  But I can’t last too long in that sitting pose…imagine if I were to work in an office with tight shoes and suits…

I think being a yoga teacher is the blessing for my legs and it’s all started from my elder sister’s causal remarks.  I guess she was the dharmic pointer…

The old-stork woman is on vacation

Lately, infertilities among married couples are on steep rise.  Every now and then, I come across with couples that have been trying for years to conceive by various means, but many to no avail.  It is quite heart-breaking to see them keep getting disappointed month after month, year after year…  It seems as though the Samsin-halmoni (the old Stork-woman in Korean folklore) has gone onto long-holidays…

While there are still many couples who are easy to get pregnant, or scare of getting pregnant, but for increasing number of couples, conception without paying some dues first, either financially or mentally or physically, becoming difficult and rather common scenes nowadays.  Some are due to their infertilities while many are told by doctors that they are perfectly normal.  Thus the- so-called-no-problem couples keep trying…So many fertility treatment clinics are flourishing business these days.  Eventually many give up…but not without big holes in the hearts and finance.   Which is really sad.

As much as each childless couple’s story differs from one another, so are the ways they handle and make efforts to overcome the heart-breaking agonies in their desire to be parents.  Some poor people, on the hand, barely able to feed the multiples mouths they already have, and yet, new ones are keep popping up to add further strains on the parents’ hunched backs. 

Who is luckier?  Which one would you rather be?  Financially secure and well off but no child; many children but struggling day to day just to feed and clothe the breeds? 

Each will say the other is better.  Or, many will insist to simply add, to what they have plus the one lacking.  Many people like to do simple equation with what they think of a perfect life.  They don't want to accept the obvious fact that we can't have it all.  Yes… there are MANY who seemed to have it all when judging from outside.  But, are they really…?  Is there such a thing in life, like a perfect life, having it all we want???  I don’t think so. 

For some reasons, we human beings are unable to switch their own perception for another, to comprehend the omniscient factors that, we just can’t have it all in life.   Children or no children…our life meant to bear each allocated shares of agonies and tears and triumphs.   In life, no matter what, we will always have something missing.   There is no such thing as everlasting happiness after the Mr. Perfect met the Miss Perfect.  In fact, that where the untold portions of fairy tale starts to unfold. 

In astrology, to have children you need the combinations of 5^th Space (good past karma, rewards from God) plus 6^th Space (debts from past life, hard works in this life).  That is why raising children is not only expensive but also hard works.  They demand endlessly and mercilessly, stretching us beyond what we ever imagined possible before we had them.  And yet, they are gifts from God who teach us the most important life lessons of selfless giving.  

We tend to think life is about satisfying our needs to find happiness.  Actually it’s not. Happiness is never like straightforward equitation between profit/loss accounts.  Even if we know we are in losing end, having children brings in us the best parts of human nature; angelic god-nature of wanting to give.  We all want to give.  Happiness multiplies when we can give and children are the best outlet to give.  That is why many people desire to be parents, though having children is life-time commitment with no guaranteed return. 

It was Deepavali today and with it another season of year-end approaching…So to call back the old-stork woman who seems to have gone onto long holiday, why don’t we first practice of giving without expectation of any return?  New Year resolutions…maybe we could include the plans on how to do more GIVING…

Life is beautiful

I like movies and dramas that are inspirational. There was a movie that I watched years ago which still makes me ponder over it time to time.  Its title is “life is beautiful (1997)”.  By the title alone, you will think it must be happy-go-merry kinds of story. But it’s not.  It is an Italian tragicomedy drama film, depicting a Jewish Italian book keeper, who must employ his fertile imagination to shield his son from the horrors of internment in a Nazi concentration camp. I am not usually a big fan of any wars, tragedy or doomsday movies, more so if it’s about the holocaust.  They ring gloomy darkness in our human spirit. However that movie was one of the most touching movies I’ve ever seen.

Apparently I was not the only one.  The film was a critical and financial success globally, winning the leading actor Benigni the Academy Award for Best Actor at the 71st Academy Awards as well as the Academy Award for Best Original Dramatic Score and the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film.

The background of the movie is in 1930’ and 1940’.

Guido (a poor Italian book keeper) fell in love with and marries Dora (a Germany from a well-off family) despite her mother’s fierce objection.  In the first half, the audience can laugh the loudest and delight at the immense comedy talent of Guido (played by Benigni). But in the second segment, various incidents related to the rise of anti-semitism and fascism in Italy show that there are sinister forces at work.  Guido and Dora move on from Tuscany in 1939 to the last year of the war in a concentration camp. In this period they have had their son Giosue.  Guido attempts to keep from the boy the horrors of what is going on, and this eventually manifests itself as a game where the aim is to score 100 points, with the winner winning a real tank (which, of course appeals to the young boy). Comic moments are still present, that involving Guido's translation of the rules of the camp is particularly notable, but it becomes somewhat more difficult to laugh when we consider the gravity of what is going on. At the end of the film, Guido is sacrificed and Dora is reunited with Giosue, who still oblivious of what went on, excitedly tell mom how he won the game played with daddy.

And the movie ends with the narration voice of grown-up Giosue that, not only appeal Guido to the audience due to his comedy and sheer pleasantness, but also in the way that he loves his family and the measures that he will go to protect them.  The emphasis begins shifts, and we realize that this is a film about human spirit above all else.

We are living in the era of fear invoking socio-cultural genre.  We are living in the era of laughter-scarce socio-fanatical genre.  I am quite tired of reading and listening all those negative headlines and gravely exaggerated news from the media.  It seems their only agenda is to scare people out of their life.

Life is not so bad as it seems from the surface.  Of course there is regular ups and downs, sometimes small, sometime big challenges keep coming out seemingly from nowhere.  But still, life is as how we paint it.  From challenges, we can learn to stretch extra. Then in the process of overcoming it, we can realize life is all about making progress, not about being perfect.  Beautiful or ugly…they are all in the eyes of beholders. As I peep over those sweating yoginis with challenging yoga poses during the classes, I regularly get goose bump myself because, Life is beautiful when we can paint it with more discipline, faith and open mindset…

Stay Young with Strong Legs...

Joseph Pilates, the founder of Pilates fitness method, said we are “young” if our body is supple and strong even at the age of sixty.  On the other hand, you are told “old” if the body is stiff and out of shape even if twenty or thirty something only.

I think he was very correct.  I see all the time many “young” people in old body, many “old” people in young body.  But then, before and after Yoga, I consistently notice how fast people are changing in their overall appearances, getting younger and brighter by day, regardless of ages. 

Many people define “age” with “chronicle number of years” they have lived.  But I define otherwise.  “Age” is about how comfortable you are with your body, how strong you are in your legs.

Usually first half of our Yoga sessions are standings poses; the latter half are sitting and floor poses.  It is quite common scenes with beginners; they can barely stand 10 or 20 minutes of standing poses with wobbling jelly like legs.  Many drop to floor to catch their breath, before can stand up again to continue.  Those non-beginners…they can last, last, last…no problem.  They even feel much more energy after yoga classes.  That’s the difference between young and old, the level of stamina and energy, not the age.

Our two legs are meant for walking, not for sitting.  When you let your leg hang idle, leg strength decline over time and you will set in motion a cascade of events that could lead to disability or even premature death.  With weakened legs, you’ll first avoid activities that require exertion, like long walks or biking. Then, getting out of a chair or ascending a flight of stairs becomes a challenge.  As muscle further deteriorates, you may need a cane or a walker to safely get around.  Muscles weakened from age and disuse is also important risk factors for hip fractures.

Overall body strength is vital for maintaining independence, particularly for the lower limbs.  Strong legs, studies show, are your insurance policy for an active and enjoyable life in your later years.  Fit leg muscles also protect knee joints.  With age, thigh muscles weaken from lack of exercise, and more of the mechanical stress of walking, running, and standing transfers to the knee joints.  Strong leg muscles help absorb that stress, and prevent the breakdown of cartilage and the onset of osteoarthritis. 

And the Eagle Pose (Garudasana) is one of the best Yoga pose to strengthen not only the legs but also shoulders and arms while improving balance and focus.  Its pose will help you stay forever-young.

The Star Track

I have a confession to make.

Not many people know that I am a serious astrologer, not just an amateur, but rather a serious one who virtually breaths and lives with the stars.  Basically I am living in the star track, not the movie, but the real star track of the heavenly bodies, like the Sun, Moon…Neptune, etc.  They are always roaming around in my head as well as in my soul. 

In my head there are always the planets going around; I constantly keep track of their location, movements and changing energy patterns...  In Sanskrit term, the stars or planets are called “graha”, which means to “to grasp, to take hold of”.  I got hold of by them ever since 1992 and they never left my awareness thereafter. 

I always wonder whether knowing astrology was a curse or blessing in my life. 

Many a time it felt more like a curse.  Because, in life, you are better off by not knowing too much.  I don’t have all the answers in life, but, I feel pressured to know all the solutions to the endless problems, challenges our life present. Even if I know it, it’s also not straightforward mathematical kinds of answer, like A becomes B, becomes C and D...  it is rather fuzzy…

You see, life is the sum total of accrued causes and effects, governed by karmic rules. You can never know from where it started and how and when it ends.  But it sure will come to pass in whatever way is written in the blueprints.  However, most of what I see…I generally keep it to myself.  Or else it can easily cause unnecessary anguish to the listeners.  So it becomes torment to know, or not to know… a curse that I live with…  

But then, if I didn’t know astrology, I don’t think I could ever found ways of how to keep cool, stay collected and centered in the diverse facets of up and down life’s affairs.  I don’t think I could understand people and life as much as I do right now.  I don’t think I could live with this kind of positive, surrendering modes to the Force that is much larger than all the stars, all the people, events, emotions, things throughout the entire universe… So certainly it is more of blessing to know astrology, I think… 

Lately another major life challenge struck me…but, I am able to see it just as it is….rather than getting lost in it…I am waiting for the answers to arise…I know the planets, the Forces will guide me to it…

Will you, too, give me supports, your collective kind intentions?  So that I can sail through it safely??? 

Yoga Story 10. Cow Face Pose (Gomukhasana)

There are few closing yoga poses we do at the end of each Yoga classes.  They are all very sweet and delicious yoga routines to use toward the end.  They have much settling and nourishing effects to the all worked-up nervous system.  One of them is “Cow Face Pose (Gomukhasana).” 

You will sit with one bent knee placed over the other, forming the cow’s lip.  One arm goes laterally behind the back and the fingers grasp the fingers of the other arm, which is bent over the corresponding shoulder (forming cow’s ear).  This asana tones and strengthens the ankles, hips, thighs and shoulders.

The cow is one of the holiest animals.  You look at the cow’s face.  They are so cool!  The way they roam around in the fields, cross the highway super slow and steady, whether you honk or not, they just don’t care a thing in the world!  The cow is considered to be the giver of plenty. 

In Korea, the agricultural society originally, cows are considered the most valuable treasures for the farmers.  Day and night, they plow, carry and transport while alive and give their meat and skin when die.  So the farmers have to guard it with zeal as they are easy targets for burglary in old times.  We even have an old saying “fixing the cowshed door after the cow is stolen.”  That is, we often regret after already things are happened.   

In India, all of the cow’s products are used; its strength helps farmers plow the field; its urine is a strong antiseptic; its dung makes excellent fuel for stoves and its milk yields butter and ghee.  So they worships cows like Holy Mothers. 

In China, the cow is the vehicle of Guan Yin, the Merciful Buddha.  Thus Chinese Buddhists generally refrain from eating beefs.

Different cultures, different reasons, but generally cows are considered with special regards in all over the world.

The cow is also the embodiment of different yogic qualities. They are ever so calm, peaceful and down-to-earth.  They are also generous and motherly and are in fact considered to be one of the universal mothers.  When the mother cow sees her calf, her milk flows freely and abundantly.  The relationship between the cow and her calf is therefore the perfect symbol for the relationship between the earth and its inhabitants.  Like a calf, we can give the earth our love while using her gifts in a sustainable and wholesome way.  

“Holy Cow!!!”  

You often exclaim like this when you are surprised.

“Holy Simmo!!!”

My cheeky hubby exclaims like this when he tries to be cheesy. 

As for me, who can’t enjoy any of the cow’s products due to serious lactose allergy or beefs due to upbringing, I substitute the enjoyments by just doing “ Gomukhasana.”…

Each day as a prayer, each day as an offering, and each day as a blessing...

I have just finished doing 108 times sun salutation.  It’s like as though I came back home after long, long journey…very sweaty and sticky, and whole body muscles are pulsating like fine ripples in a quite lake.  The heartbeat is surprisingly settled, the mind is lucid clear, and the emotion quietly surging upward with indescribable feelings of lightness, happiness and joy.

Then I remember our old yoga buddies in the Bukit Jalil center with whom we used to enjoy doing 108 times of sun salutation.  They were all in their 50s and 60s.  At first, they would get frightened (?) whenever I say “how many times of sun salutation should we do today?”  I would assure them that it’s okay to stop anytime whenever they need to.  Then as we go along, no one will stop but manage to finish till the end.  Then we would flat out in Savasana for 10 minutes or so, all sweaty and sticky, but, beaming with pride and healthy smile… 

That was heaven on earth.  That was one of those precious moments in life where we could be so satisfied, so content and so complete with just the way we are, just the way our life is. 

Then, life has to move on.  Nothing last forever and nothing can stay the same.  I moved to Putra Heights, and all those good and old Yoga buddies who felt so connected with each other, every time after sweating tons…I am not sure where they all have gone, while I am here, how they are over there…but I am sure they are doing fine and living each day as busy as they were before.

As for me, over the course of continuing this yogic path as a teacher at the same time as a student of Tao, I too go through fluctuation of good and bad days; good and fragile health, up and down mood of emotional swing, positive or negative spirals of inspiration.  While we are in the motion of riding those perpetual waves of changes, challenges, tasks that our life present, it’s so easy to forget the Big Picture feeling most miserable and constrained in the situations, caught up in the small minds.

But, like today, if I happen to remember after good dose of sweating and breathings, then, I realize the heaven is not far away.  It is always right at the tip of our nose, up and down…breathing in, breathing out…but we forget so often…

However as long as I am continuing the journey in this path, I have a place to come back home, the sanctuary in my heart, that I can count each day as a prayer, each day an offering, and each day as a blessing…

How about you?  Would you like to join me in the routine of 108 sun salutation?  You too will be able to find your heaven on earth…